Axis
by Lucency
Summary: It was a surprisingly easy thing to change the world. [SI OC]
1. A Man Named Jiro

Jiro sighed deeply as he opened his eyes, moving his hand away from the child's stomach. Barely a child, even. He would have thought the baby on the table in front of him to be half a year old, if that, if her parents hadn't told him before that her first birthday was in two days. He knew she was sick even before he used chakra on her, her wet, rattling coughs reaching him from across the room. He lifted his gaze, past the hopeful face of her mother, to the rain streaming down the window above her. If the weather was better than maybe…

He ran a hand through his hair with another sigh, and her face crumpled. He didn't need to use chakra to know that the baby had a weak immune system. One of the weakest he'd come across in fact. It was something of a miracle that she had lived this long in a village of constant rain. The baby was barely clothed—dressing her in layers gave her a fever, but anything less made her shiver from the cold—and her skin was almost yellow. He lowered his eyes back to her, watching her mouth open and close as she gasped desperately for air, her eyes rolled up. Her mother started crying. Jiro supposed that they called for him because they expected him, a medic-nin, to know some secret technique, or some chakra based cure-all to fix her. He stood up. It was this part that he hated most of all. He didn't like telling parents that there was no hope for their children, but more often than not, that was the reality he was faced with.

"I'm sorry," he said.

He watched her pick up the dying infant but averted his eyes as she squeezed her to her chest and brushed wet strands of black hair out of her face. Jiro closed his eyes, but even as he went over it again, he couldn't think of a single way to help her. A small chakra transfusion between her and a family member could give her immune system a much-needed boost, but he knew her body would either outright reject the foreign chakra or would start attacking itself to try and get rid of it.

"There's nothing I can do."

Her crying turned to heaving sobs. Jiro looked at the window again and willed it to stop raining for a few minutes, even a few seconds, just long enough for him to think that the baby had even the smallest of chances to survive. The rain pattered on. He turned away. He thought of what she looked like when she first sought him out, her red hair a bright stroke of color in this dreary place they called a village. Her eyes had gone to his headband first, licking her lips as if she was starving and it was the only thing that could sate her. She'd offered him money, but it was remembering why he'd turned to medical ninjutsu in the first place that made him follow her.

Once upon a time, Jiro thought he could make a difference. He'd wanted to save people. He still did in a way, but his rose-tinted glasses had been broken with the death of his teammate back when he still wanted to serve the village, and then utterly shattered as more and more of the people he tried to save died at his feet.

He thought of telling her to prepare a grave, because he didn't think the infant would live through the night, but that was just cruel. He cleared his throat. "If you need me again…" he trailed off. She wasn't listening to him anyway, murmuring quietly to the infant as tears dripped from her chin.

 **はじめ**

Madara Uchiha considered himself a patient man. He waited for the rumors and accounts of his death to spread across the five great nations, giving him free reign to do what he wanted without interference. He waited for Hashirama's foolish dream of peace to topple under the weight of his naivety, and fall it had, once the First Shinobi World War broke out. He waited even longer for the Rinnegan to finally, _finally,_ awaken, the first stepping stone on the path to true peace. Even now, as his body failed and his strength left him, he was willing to wait.

He crossed his arms, his gaze fixed on a family of Uzumaki in the house across from him. Half-Uzumaki, he corrected himself after a quick, dismissive glance over the man. His black hair didn't necessarily mean he wasn't one of them, but his chakra, which was barely worth looking at, was. His arms were around a woman with red hair, a child cradled in her lap. His eyes skimmed over her too. He could see the wasted potential in how small her chakra pool was, how everything about her screamed 'civilian' despite her heritage being anything but. It was the boy that spiked his interest. He was hovering on the other side of the room, watching them from behind the safety of a door frame. His chakra reserves…

Well, they were something Madara could work with. He was well aware of how little time he had left in this world, and how much he still had yet to put into place. The idea of leaving his eyes to rot in a jar somewhere, or entrusting them to Zetsu to find someone that would resurrect him after all he had done to get them in the first place... It was laughable, at best. No, he needed these eyes to thrive. He needed them to be powerful when he got them back, enough to match his body once he was revived in his prime. What better than to leave them to a child descended from a family known for their enormous chakra pools? If he gave the boy his eyes, he would be forced to grow up to be powerful. He wouldn't wilt away like his mother. Madara's eyes slid to the baby, but even she had far less potential. None, in fact. Since the last time he looked, she died.

Hmm. Madara looked at the boy again. Yes, he would do. With the proper guidance, a nudge here and there in the right direction-

A spark of blue in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He glanced over, and for the first time in a long, long time, Madara was surprised. He took a step closer, his body stiff and barely his own as White Zetsu mimicked his movement. The fact that the infant was clinging so desperately to life might have impressed him a little, but surprise? No, that was for the chakra flaring from her middle. Seconds—or had it been minutes—earlier, the brief glanced he'd given her told him that she barely produced enough chakra to keep herself alive, never mind to use. Even if she stayed alive, he would have predicted her to turn out to be a bigger disgrace to her name than her mother.

This however, was not the same infant. Her chakra was almost white in its intensity, her spiritual chakra suddenly rivaling the normal reserves of the boy. For all his experience and knowledge, Madara couldn't come up with an explanation for what he saw. It fascinated him. In an instant, his plans shifted, and the boy in the corner was forgotten.

He found someone else to inherit his eyes.

* * *

 **A/N:** **はじめ - Beginning**


	2. A Boy Named Nagato - Part 1

"We were given a chance to do it all over again

So bright and divine, so gentle and kind, our ordinary lives

Overflow, watch it grow with happiness."

-rachie, Town of Jade

* * *

Nagato was cold.

He pulled a blanket tighter over his shoulders as he padded over to the window. It was just barely long enough to brush against his waist, and a dull, faded blue from being washed in the lake one to many times. Still, he clung to the thin fabric as he stared through the glass. He looked past the drops sliding down, the puddles soaking the grass, up to the dark clouds filling the sky.

Nagato wondered what the sun looked like. He'd seen drawings of it in one of his books, rough, black and white sketches of a ball of light that hung high in the sky, but he'd never seen it before. He didn't think Amegakure had a sun for a long time, until his mother told him that it was there, just hidden behind the clouds.

"Mm,"

Nagato glanced back, moving closer to the bed on the other side of the room, "You awake, Oka?" he asked, leaning over her. Her face was scrunched up, but her eyes didn't open. He felt her forehead. "Your fever's gone down, at least." he murmured, sitting on the floor.

He looked out the window. Maybe one day he could take Oka with him to see the sun.

Oka had been sick for a long time. But she was slowly getting better, stronger. Her fevers used to be so bad that her teeth would chatter even though her clothes were soaked in sweat. He wasn't allowed in her room back then, but that didn't stop him from checking on her in the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep. She slept most of the time, and only woke up once or twice during the day. But back then, she never woke up at all.

Nagato turned back to Oka, pausing when he saw that her eyes were half-open. "I brought a new book to read," he said, watching her head slowly turn. He scooted forward, reaching between the mattress and the bedframe for the book he'd hidden there. He'd only started doing it after he caught his mother and father doing the same to the things that were important to them.

He brushed dust off the cover, tracing his thumb over the faded spiral in the middle. The book was older than he was. It was small too, about the size of his father's hand. The cover was sturdy, but the pages inside were yellowed. His mother gave it to him as a birthday gift. It was important to her, so it was important to him too.

Oka's dark orbs followed him as he stood, sitting on the edge of her bed. "This one doesn't have a name," Nagato told her, opening the book to the first page. He held it out to her, watching her study the drawing on the left page, of waves cresting against a shore. Most of the words on the right page were smeared or hard to read. "This story is about a princess," he began, turning the page.

It had the same drawing, except a little girl had been added, her hair flowing around her as the ocean circled her feet. "She lived on an island protected by a sea dragon," he said, making his voice low and dramatic, "The dragon would make huge whirlpools that destroyed anything that tried to cross the water," the third page showed the wreckage of a boat sticking out of the sand, with whirlpools swirling in the background.

"The dragon would only let the people who lived on the island cross the water, and only if they promised to bring something for the dragon when they came back. Everyone was happy," the page after that was his favorite. It was a painting of the sun. "It was warm," Nagato said, tracing his thumb against it. "And it never rained."

Oka stared up at him with wide eyes. "But it always rains." she said, her voice quiet and weak.

"Not there," Nagato said firmly. "There were clouds sometimes, but no rain," he glanced at her as she stared at the page, waiting a few seconds before turning it.

"But then the island was attacked." The sketch showed flames covering the island. "The princess had to run away from the island or die with everyone else she loved."

"What happened to the dragon?" Oka asked.

Nagato went to the next page. Three figures with smudged headbands poked at the water with sticks. "The attackers tried everything to kill the dragon," he read. "But nothing worked. Until," the next page was of a woman with short hair, kneeling next to the edge of the water. She held a vial, frozen in the middle of pouring its contents into the water. "The enemy made a poison. It was so strong that not even the dragon could resist it."

The princess was running in the sketch after that, her arms held up against the branches drawn in her path. Her dress was torn, and scratches covered her legs. "The princess ran and ran," Nagato said. "While her island burned to the ground behind her."

He turned to the next page. The princess was standing at the edge of a field, staring across a body of water at a tower made of metal. Her hair wasn't flowing anymore, but stuck to her back, soaked through from the rain. "The princess had to find a new place. One that wasn't like her little island. Everything was made of metal, and the buildings stretched so high in the sky that they touched the clouds."

"I'm sleepy," Oka mumbled.

Nagato glanced back. Her eyes were closed. "Okay," he said, closing the book. "I'll save the rest for later."

 **好感度**

"Ah, you're getting heavy."

Nagato kept a tight hold around Oka as he navigated downstairs, keeping a careful eye on the steps in front of him. She shifted against him, leaning against his shoulder. He tried not to let it throw off his concentration as he took another step down.

"Tired today too?"

Oka nodded. She was always tired. There were just some days that she was less tired than others. "But I want to see papa," she said.

"Not mama?"

"Mama's gonna read to me later."

"A new book?"

Oka shook her head.

"The one about the samurai?"

She shook her head again.

"The underwater village?"

Oka hesitated.

"I'll ask," Nagato said. "I know you like that one."

He reached the bottom, relieved that he'd managed it. He carried Oka up and down the hallway before, but never down the stairs. He took her to the living room. There wasn't much space, but a small couch had been squeezed into it. Their father was sitting in the middle, leaning over a bunch of books and scrolls spread out on the table in front of him.

Nagato knew that the books were about medicine, but it too advanced for him to read.

Their father glanced up, and Nagato caught the flash of surprise in his eyes before he smiled, beckoning them over. "If it isn't my favorite red-head," he said, ruffling Nagato's hair.

"Hey!" The shout came from the kitchen.

"Its alright dear," his father said back, winking. "You'll always be my second favorite red head."

Nagato ducked his head to hide his smile.

"And my favorite little wolf," he said, taking Oka from him. She gave a weak growl and bit at his shirt when she was put in his lap. She tired herself out in seconds. "You should be resting."

"Wanted to see you," she murmured, curling against his chest.

He rubbed her shoulder. "Then you're lucky to have a big brother like Nagato, eh? I wouldn't have carried you all the way down here."

"Liar," Nagato muttered, but couldn't hide his grin.

"What? No, never," he pretended to look hurt, raising his voice. "Fusō, tell Nagato that I would never lie to him."

"Every word out of his mouth is a lie," came the reply.

Nagato laughed. He sat on the couch, just as a dish shattered in the kitchen. He wouldn't have thought anything of it if his father didn't tense, alerting him that something was wrong. He heard rushed footsteps. "I saw them through the window," she said, soap still on her hands. "They're coming, Ise!"

He was confused, until he heard voices behind the front door. His mother inhaled. Oka had been falling asleep, but her eyes shot open as she was swept up, their father's eyes flicking around the room. He cursed.

"Who is it?" Nagato asked as his mother took his hand, squeezing until his fingers hurt. She pulled him towards the stairs. "What's wrong?" he tried. He jumped when a crack appeared in the door, his parents flinching away from the bang.

"There's no time," his father whispered, looking up the steps. "We'll be trapped up there."

His mother swallowed but nodded.

They were huddled in the corner when the door finally caved in. His mother tightened her hold on him, shielding him with her body. Nagato ducked down when he saw part of a green sleeve. He tried to make himself as small as he could. Oka was squished against their father's chest.

Nagato could hear them talking and throwing open cupboards in the kitchen. He shuddered. He didn't know who they were, and he didn't care. He just wanted them to go away and leave them alone.

"We have to make a run for it," his father murmured, his tone grim. "We can't stay here."

Nagato shook his head. He was too afraid to move.

"It's alright," his mother whispered, stroking his hair. "We just have to get out of here, and we'll be fine."

"Wait, come look at this. Someone was here," the intruder lowered his voice. "The faucet is dripping, and these plates are still wet."

His parents tensed, his mother shooting a panicked look at his father.

"Shinobi, you think?"

"We know there aren't any civilians left around here."

"Think it's an ambush?"

"Let's split up. You cover the top floor and I'll look around here."

His mother covered his mouth, and Nagato realized how loud he was breathing.

"I bet you just want to take all the food for yourself before I get back-" the intruder stopped short when he came out into the hallway. Nagato watched his eyes widen, his hand going for the pouch strapped to this side.

He didn't notice his father put Oka down until he got up and charged. "Run, Fuso!"

"Over here!" the intruder shouted.

His mother wrapped her arms around him, kissing the top of his head. "Give Oka a kiss for me, okay?" She stood up as the second intruder ran out into the hallway, weapon in hand.

"Wait," Nagato whispered, reaching for her as she ran away from him. He could only watch as his father took a step back and fell, hitting the ground with a thud. He scooted back until he hit the wall, trembling at the sight of the weapon sticking out of his father's chest.

"Nagato, take Oka and run!" his mother screamed.

Nagato flinched, dragging his eyes away from his father. Oka was on her hands and knees, eyes wide. He tugged her against him, covering her eyes as their mother tilted forward. He remembered to close his own too late, after he saw the blood coming from her neck.

The first intruder cursed. "Civilians?"

"Looks like it," the second said with a shake of his head, crouched over his father. "And," he said, lifting his eyes to meet Nagato's. "They have kids."

Nagato didn't want to die.

"What do we do?"

He didn't want Oka to die.

"We can't leave them."

His eyes went to his mother's body. Her eyes were frozen open in shock. He was terrified, but she'd told him to run. It was the last thing she said before-

Nagato choked on his tears.

"We can't take them!"

He pushed himself up while they argued, refusing to let Oka look at them. Nagato grit his teeth and charged for the door.

"Hey, wait-!"

Nagato slipped a little on the blood but managed to stay on his feet as he sprinted out into the rain.

"Let him go. This way they're not our problem."

He was glad it was raining. That way no one could see his tears.

* * *

 **A/N:** **好感度 - Fondness**


	3. A Boy Named Nagato - Part 2

"You said if you could fly,

You would fly far - far into the sky

So all you'd ever know

Is that blue - that blue sky up above."

-LeeandLie, Blue Bird

* * *

Nagato rubbed a stick between his hands until his palms hurt, pressing one end against a rotten plank of wood he'd fished out of a pond. He stopped to inspect his work, but it was no good. It was too wet to catch fire. He didn't know if he was doing it right, but he was freezing, and Oka was leaning against his leg, shivering.

"Naga?" Oka murmured, clinging to his pants. "When's mama coming back?"

Nagato faltered. He forgot sometimes, that he didn't let Oka see what happened. "I don't know." He sniffed hard, rubbing his eyes. "I wish she was here too-" He stopped before he fell apart.

He needed to be strong for her.

He rubbed harder.

He wanted to protect her from the truth.

It didn't do any good. He hiccupped, tears sliding through his fingers. Every time he thought of his parents, it was watching like them die all over again. A nightmare he couldn't wake up from. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be hugged, to be told that everything was alright. But that wasn't possible.

It was just him and Oka in a damp cave.

Nagato cried until he fell asleep. He dreamed that he was sitting in Oka's room, listening to their mother read a story about a rabbit from the moon. He woke up disoriented, and a second before reality set in, he thought he was home. Then he rubbed his eyes and the roof of the cave came into view. He shuddered.

Oka was curled beneath him, arms under her shirt.

Nagato's hand shook as he felt her forehead, the action stiff and automatic. It didn't feel like she had a fever, but her skin was ice. He sat up and looked out at the rain, arms around his legs. The cave was cold and damp, but at least they were dry. Even if he was so hungry it felt like he was being eaten from the inside out, even if he was all alone, _at least he was dry._

Nagato buried his face in his arms. Oka was barely awake anymore. She was getting weaker, and he knew, he _knew_ the cold was making her sicker, but he didn't want to leave the cave. He didn't want to face the world that had taken his parents from him.

 _"Which story do you want to read today, Nagato? The monk who carved the moon out of wood or the traveling merchant who created an island from the stars?"_

 _"The monk!"_

 _His mother looked at the cover of the picture book he'd chosen and scrunched her nose up. "You sure? It's really, really boring," she whispered behind her hand._

 _"You told me to choose," he said, even as he hid a grin under his blanket._

 _"I did," she agreed. "And I can't blame you for choosing the monk. You inherited your father's love of old, boring books, after all," she said wistfully._

 _"I still want that one," he said stubbornly, refusing to let her change his mind._

 _His mother nodded once. Then she threw the book about the monk behind her and scooted forward, opening the book about the traveling merchant._

The memory made him smile, but it also made him feel like chains were wrapped around his heart. He could feel them weighing him down every time he breathed in.

Oka shifted in her sleep, reaching out for him.

Why did they leave him alone? He didn't know how to take care of Oka. He didn't even know how to take care of himself. It wasn't fair. He felt angry and scared and sad all at once. Why did they have to die? Why did the intruders have to come into his house and take everything from him? But he couldn't go back. What if they were still there? Worse still, what if they weren't? He couldn't face his parents again.

"I'm sorry, Oka," he sniffed. He should've left to find food earlier, should've found someplace warm for her, should've tried harder. If he was just a little stronger, a little bigger, he could've helped his parents. He was sorry for a lot of things.

Nagato pressed his thumb into the mud between his legs and drew two names.

Fusō and Ise.

He stared at them. "Sorry," he whispered, hoping they could hear him. Hoping that they could forgive him. He gathered Oka in his arms and stood, stumbling slightly. He felt lightheaded. His legs were stiff as he stepped outside. He looked up at the clouds. He hoped that they were there, together on an island in the stars.

 **サンダ**

The fifth door answered him.

Nagato took a step back after knocking, his knuckles bruised and red. He was soaked, but he stopped feeling the rain after the first few minutes. Oka's arms were tight around his neck, fighting for warmth in his shoulder. She was awake. Her wet, sagging clothes had stirred her into consciousness, and the rain pricking at her bare skin kept her that way.

The door cracked open and the man behind it stuck his head out, eyes flitting back and forth. Then he looked down, surprised and suspicious. Nagato should have felt relieved. Or at least he thought he should. But he didn't feel much of anything. Just hungry. And tired. He was so very tired.

"Food," Nagato blurted out, then reconsidered. "If you have any extra food…" he trailed off. "Please. We don't have any money, but we don't have anywhere else to go," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Just a little. For my sister."

Nagato felt a small thread of hope as the man considered him, the first time he felt anything like it since his parents died. The man lingered on Oka, and then he took a pair of scissors and cut his hope apart with a small shake of his head. Nagato lingered on the doorstep long after the door closed.

"What do we do now, Oka?" he whispered.

There were still a few houses left. He could try them, knocking until his knuckles bled and the rain drowned out the quiet. Nagato didn't want to. He wanted to give up. He wanted to sit against the wall and tell the world that it won, because he didn't want to do this anymore. It would've hurt less if the door hadn't opened at all.

But if he died, Oka would die with him.

It was this thought that made him step off the porch. It was what made his legs move toward the next house. And maybe, it was what made him glance through the window before he got too far away.

Nagato stopped, staring at the bowl of bruised fruit through the glass. His mouth watered. His stomach growled pitifully. And he felt angry. That man had food. Just not for them. He tried to shake the anger off, convincing himself that he might have a family to feed. Maybe he really didn't have any food to spare.

 _He couldn't give up one orange?_

He wanted to steal it. The urge surprised him, and he shook his head hard.

"No," he said forcefully, making his feet turn, even as the rest of him seemed to resist. "I won't. I won't steal."

He was starving, but he could last a little longer. Long enough to find another way. He wouldn't resort to taking something away from someone else just to make himself better.

 _You can last, but what about Oka?_

Nagato stopped again. He thought of the weight in his arms. Oka, his frail sister. He looked back at the fruit. She was depending on him.

What if other people were depending on that bowl of fruit? Could he take what might be their only food away just to feed his sister?

Could he let his sister die just to feel like he did a good thing?

"What should I do, Oka?" he asked, burying his face in her shoulder. "Tell me what to do."

She didn't, of course.

Nagato moved closer to the window. He glanced as far as he could into the room beyond it, but he didn't see the man. He looked at the fruit again. His sister, or his morals? Her life, for another life? He could just take one. But how long would it be before he was hungry again? A few hours? A few minutes?

He licked his lips. He could already taste it, feel the tangy sweetness filing his mouth. He was so hungry.

Nagato put Oka down. He wanted to keep her in his arms, keep her safe, but he needed both hands. "Stay here and don't move, okay?"

Oka looked sleepy and confused but nodded. He could see her cheekbones through her skin.

Nagato nodded back and climbed onto the window sill. He pressed a hand against the glass, staring at the fruit on the other side. He thought of breaking it, but recoiled at the idea. He didn't think it would be hard, with the right sized rock, but it wasn't something he was willing to do. He felt around instead, until his pinky found a tiny hole at the bottom, where the window hadn't been closed all the way.

His hands shook. It took a few hard tugs to open, and it left him out of breath. He stared at the prize for his efforts, his fingers twitching but unmoving at his side. The fruit stared back. The bowl was in front of him, but his arms wouldn't move.

He wanted Oka to live.

He didn't want to steal.

Nagato closed his eyes and reached forward, his breath hitching as his fingers closed around something round and soft. He opened one eye. He was holding an orange, bruised and covered in dark spots, but still. His eyes went wide. He'd done it.

He jerked when he heard a shout and fumbled the orange. Nagato managed to grab it before it rolled off the table, but not before he knocked the bowl over. He watched an apple bounce off the sill and disappear. He looked up and the man was halfway across the room, hand outstretched to grab him.

Nagato scrambled off the sill. Oka was kneeling, in the middle of reaching for one of the fallen fruits when he landed next to her. He scooped her up in a panic and took off.

"Bastard! Thief!"

He didn't look back, but the words settled in his chest, like a black stain on his heart. Nagato only stopped once he squeezed himself into the space between two buildings and convinced himself that the sound of the man running after him had only been in his head. He sunk against the floor.

Oka tore into her bruised and battered apple once he put her down in his lap, juice dribbling down her chin. It made him feel a little better, seeing her eat. Somehow, he'd kept a hold of his orange. Nagato stared the lumpy mess.

His stomach begged for it but when he finally took a bite, it was bitter.

 **ライトニング**

Stealing was easier after that.

Nagato's hands still shook when he grabbed half a loaf of bread when the baker had her back turned, or water from a merchant, but he stopped feeling as bad. He learned to use the rain to hide his footsteps, how to use even the smallest distraction as an opportunity. He was picky at first, only stealing from those he thought had enough to spare, who wouldn't be affected by his thievery.

But that left him and Oka walking the line of starvation. There was never enough to keep the hunger away for long. He wanted Oka to get better, and the only way to do that was to steal from more people. People with less to give. He decided that he could either worry about himself and Oka, or he could worry about the wellbeing of everyone else at his own expense.

In the world they lived in, he couldn't do both.

So, he chose Oka. Even if he had to fight a part of himself to do it.

Nagato also learned that Oka liked apples the most.

He looked around the corner, holding a small brown sack with one hand. It only fit two apples and an orange, or one piece of meat, but Nagato didn't often try and steal meat. He knew it was rarer than the other stuff, because merchants were more protective of it, more watchful of kids with sticky fingers. He'd only managed to steal meat once, and it was the only time he was ever caught.

It didn't look like he was followed. He never was, but he checked anyway, so he wouldn't put Oka in danger. Nagato ducked into the alley where he left her. She was still asleep. He sat and ate an orange while he waited for her to wake up. It was soft, a little rotted on the inside, but it still tasted sweet.

"You're back," Oka yawned.

"Look what I got you." Nagato presented an only slightly bruised apple to her, grinning when her eyes lit up.

She pounced for it, almost taking his thumb as her teeth sunk into it. His smile faded. He was happy that she was getting stronger, enough to play with him like she used to with their father. He pulled his legs up. Thinking about his parents always made him sad and angry. He tried not to anymore.

"I told you he'd be here," a gruff voice said.

Nagato stood, his eyes going wide. It was the man from the market, the one he thought hadn't been paying attention. He looked at the older man next to him, grimacing. He'd stolen from him too.

"Easy to follow a rat's trail if you leave out a few breadcrumbs," he continued, staring at them.

Nagato grabbed Oka and ran—only to be jerked back but the collar of his shirt. The sack fell, thumping to the dirt.

"Oh, you're not getting away this time," the merchant said, dragging him backward. "Someone has to teach the rats around here a lesson. And since the shinobi in this damn village won't, I will."

Nagato dropped Oka, ignoring the urge to wince as she hit the ground. "Run!" he shouted at her. He twisted, fighting to get out of the merchant's hold, but his grip was iron. He even tried scratching at his fingers, but he didn't budge.

Oka got up on her knees, wide-eyed. Though neither man seemed interested in her.

"I think it'll be enough, if it's just one finger," the gruff man said, following the merchant.

"We should take the whole hand," the merchant replied with a snort. "Little rat's been stealing from me for weeks."

"Let go!" Nagato shouted in frustration, but they didn't acknowledge him. He stole because he wanted to live. Was that so wrong?

Oka wasn't running.

 _Why wasn't she running?_

Nagato thought he saw something shift in her eyes as she stood up, but he never got the chance to see what it was. The merchant abruptly dropped him with a grunt of pain. Nagato gasped as he landed in the mud. He scrambled back, just in time to watch a rock collide with the merchant's forehead. He stumbled, clutching his wound, and the gruff man turned away from Nagato to look for the culprit.

Nagato knew an opening when he saw one. He got to his feet and grabbed Oka, holding her awkwardly as he darted out the other end of the alley. He ran until his legs hurt, until he was far enough away that he was sure they wouldn't be able to find him. They couldn't find him if he couldn't find his own way back.

He collapsed against the side of a building, the windows shattered and abandoned. Part of the roof was charred. "I don't want to steal anymore," he murmured to his sister, knowing he wanted the impossible.

He didn't want to go back to the gnawing pain in his stomach, the emptiness in his head. Being too weak to lift his arms and legs.

Oka wrapped her arms around him. "I'll steal," she promised, eyes serious.

She wouldn't, because he wouldn't let her, but the declaration made him smile when all he wanted to do was cry. He dozed off like that, dreaming of a story the village would tell their kids when he was old and wrinkly, about Oka the Thief.

Nagato opened his eyes to an orange-haired boy standing over him. He started, but he was already against a wall. There was no where to go.

"I'm Yahiko," the boy said cheerfully, as if he hadn't scared him awake.

Nagato stared.

"The rocks from earlier?"

His eyes went wide. "You did that?"

"Yep!" Yahiko shot him a sly grin.

"How did you find me?"

Yahiko shrugged. "I followed you. It was easy."

Nagato couldn't help being on guard. No one around here did anything for free. "Why did you help me?" he asked carefully. He sat up, pulling Oka's sleeping form into his lap. Away from Yahiko.

"I only did to them what they did to you," Yahiko explained. "They treated you like dirt, so I treated them like dirt. That's all." His smile was all sharp edges. "But that means you owe me." He held out his hand.

Nagato hesitated, but nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do." he muttered. What kinds of things would they have done to him if Yahiko didn't intervene? He reached for the other boy's hand, only for Yahiko to slap his fingers away. Nagato blinked at him in surprise.

"Not for that," Yahiko said with a dismissive wave. "You stole from them, which means you also stole from _me. That's_ what you owe me for."

"From you?" Nagato repeated, baffled.

Yahiko scrutinized him, lacing his hands behind his head. "You really don't know anything, huh?" He sighed. "Come work for me and we can forget all this."

"Why would I do that?"

Yahiko tilted his head. "Because you owe me. I said that. You don't listen much, do you?"

Nagato flushed. Yeah, he owed him. But he didn't want to work for him.

"You're going to make this hard, aren't you?"

"Work for you," Nagato said again.

Yahiko groaned, tilting his head back. His eyes flicked to Oka. "We have food, back at the hideout. You help me steal more and I'll think about cutting you a share."

It was dirty of him to use Oka's wellbeing like that. But he _was_ swayed by the promise of food. "Why me? Aren't there other kids you could ask to help you?"

"Yeah," Yahiko agreed. "But none of them owe me."

"I don't owe you _that_ much."

Yahiko looked away, his expression suddenly serious. "And I've been watching you," he admitted.

"You're good at this. More than good," he shot Oka another considering glance. "I'm going to stop this war, even if I have to take over the whole world to do it. But not alone. I can't. You're like me. We don't steal because its fun. We steal because this world left us with no choice. Too many kids end up like us because of war, but I'm going to change that. I want you to help me." He held his hand out again.

Nagato was taken aback by the determination in his eyes, by how much Yahiko believed in what he said. It was crazy. They were too small, too weak to do anything. Still, the speech stirred a small, distant part of him. He didn't want to watch anyone else he loved die for nothing. What did Yahiko say? Because of _war._ Nagato hesitated as he reached out, but ultimately grasped Yahiko's hand.

"My name is Nagato," he said as they shook.

Yahiko nodded. "And her?"

"Oka."

* * *

 **A/N: サンダ - Thunder,** **ライトニング - Lightning**


	4. A Girl Named Oka - Part 1

"I stand gazing down at death as they say war,

I'll wage war,

I hate war,

They say fight for peace-but what is that?"

-LeeandLie, aLIEz

* * *

Konan hummed as she folded the last corner of the paper dog, holding it out for Chibi to see. "It's you." She gave the pointed ears a small tug and watched Chibi tilt his head, his own short ears twitching as he scrutinized it.

She thought he was a puppy when she first found him, another almost-casualty of the never-ending war, but Yahiko said he was just small from not eating enough. Chibi inched forward, giving her creation a brief sniff before he pulled it away with his teeth. She smiled as she watched him paw at it, propping her chin on her hands.

Chibi gnawed at the back legs, the paper drooping as he drooled all over it, but that was okay. She could just make another one. It was a good practice, anyway. She watched him stop suddenly, lifting his head to look at something behind her.

Konan stood—prepared to run if it was someone they stole from, but it was only Yahiko.

"Hey Konan," he greeted, hopping over the sacks of rocks they'd piled in front of the entrance.

If someone unwanted did find their hideout, the sacks were supposed to slow them down for a few seconds, just long enough for them to get away.

A boy with red hair trailed after him, carrying a small girl on his back. He looked at all the crates and baskets filled with half-rotted food, eyes wide.

"This is all stolen?" he asked.

"Yep," Yahiko replied with a grin.

Konan couldn't believe him. Just a week ago he was lecturing her about Chibi being another mouth to feed, and yet here he was with two more. "What happened to the no stray's policy, huh?" she asked, hands on her hips.

Yahiko sat on a crate. "They aren't strays. They're _employees_. It's different."

The red-head made a face at the word 'employee'.

"Then Chibi is an employee," Konan argued.

Chibi raised his head at the sound of his name, tail wagging in happy confusion.

"Nah," Yahiko leaned back. "He can't help us steal stuff. He's a stray."

"He steals stuff for us all the time!"

"Shoes don't count."

"Why not?"

"We can't _eat_ shoes."

"But it makes him an employee, right?"

Meanwhile, the red-head moved away from Yahiko and put the girl down in the corner. She yawned, curling against him as he knelt next to her. He felt her forehead, then muttered something too low for Konan to hear.

"We can't even wear the shoes he brings us," Yahiko went on. "They're always too big or have holes in them."

"He's trying."

"If he ever got anything we could use, then he can be an employee."

They looked at each other. Konan broke the stare first, covering her mouth to fight off a traitorous giggle.

Yahiko cracked a smile. "Besides, I need their help," he added.

Konan groaned. "Don't tell me you told him about-"

"Ending the war? Becoming a god?"

"A god?" the red-head mumbled.

Konan felt exasperated, "How long have you known him?"

"A few hours."

Konan slapped a hand against her face. "You can't just go around telling everyone that you're going to be a god."

"Why not?" he asked her. "I am."

Konan faltered. She always did when Yahiko got serious. She believed him when they first met and even after all this time he was still the same, with dreams bigger than the world. Yahiko laid back at her silence, staring up like he could see his plans for world domination etched into the ceiling.

She faced the red-head instead of responding. "Hi. I'm Konan."

"Nagato," he replied warily.

Konan wondered what happened to him before Yahiko found him. It made her sad to see that he didn't trust them, even though they were all around the same age. She hated that the trust people were supposed to have in each other had been stripped away bit by bit until only suspicion and fear was left. If— _when_ —Yahiko became a god of peace, no one would have to live like this. Charity wouldn't be met with skepticism. Konan wanted to see a version of Amegakure where people didn't need a reason to be kind, and they could believe that not everything came with a price.

It was why she would follow Yahiko anywhere. To see her own dream become a reality.

"And who's the girl?" Konan asked. "Your sister?"

"Yeah, she's…" Nagato trailed off when he turned and saw the empty space next to him. He stood, "Oka?" He looked back and forth.

Konan kept the panic she heard in his voice to herself.

"Where'd you go?"

Konan helped him look as he moved around the hideout, his pupils small and frantic. She found Oka where she'd left Chibi. She was using him as a pillow, her tiny hands embedded in his fur.

"Aw, Chibi likes her."

Chibi was trying to stay still for her, while snapping at what was left of the paper dog. Konan pushed it towards him as Nagato hurried over, sagging in relief when he saw her. She stepped back as he bent and felt her arm, muttering that she was cold.

Konan sat once he made sure she was okay and went back over to Yahiko, asking about what he was expected to do. It was obvious she was sick from her shivering, the sweat beading on her forehead.

"Ah, I hope you get better," she said quietly. "Yahiko's okay, but it's nice not being the only girl anymore."

She heard Yahiko say, _"The same thing you've already been doing. Just more careful. You got sloppy the more you got away with it. If I could follow you, an adult can too."_

Konan couldn't tell how old she was. She was like Chibi. Smaller than she was supposed to be. "There are just some things I can't talk about with him, you know?" Her tone was cheerful, but the more Konan looked at her, the more she wondered how Oka had lived for so long in a village like this, where nobody helped anybody.

 **平和**

I stretched a hand out, reaching until the tips of my fingers brushed against the smooth cave wall. I used the other as a makeshift pillow. The wall was bumpy and sharp, shining like it was wet even though it felt dry. I was here before. Or somewhere like it.

It's all blurry, like a dream that faded before I opened my eyes.

My fingers wandered to a part of the wall that was a lighter shade, like someone was coloring but forgot to finish the rest. It was pretty. Chibi squirmed against my back and I went still, listening to him whine and scratch at the ground until he stopped.

What he was dreaming of? Did dogs have bad dreams?

I couldn't steal like the others. Yahiko said I was still too little. I wasn't as fast as them. Not as strong. And I got tired too easily. But Naga didn't want to leave me behind. The hideout was nice and dry, but he didn't trust Yahiko and Konan all the way.

I fell asleep while they argued, and woke up here, as Konan told Naga that this cave was the closest one to the market, that I would be safe until they came back. She said that Chibi would watch over me. I remember Naga making me promise not to leave.

Then I curled up next to Chibi and went back to sleep.

I rolled over, burying my face in his fur. I heard the soft thump-thump of his heart, his chest slowly rising and falling. He was warm and soft. Just like a blanket. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Dream good dreams," I mumbled to him.

I listened to the soft pitter-patter of the rain until it lulled me to sleep.

 **敵**

I was roused by a sweet, crispy smell.

"That was some good work you did today, Nagato," Yahiko's voice drifted in. I opened my eyes as he patted my brother on the back. He was carrying an old sack over his shoulder, heavy and bulging with the fruits of their labor.

"He's not your employee," Konan said, ducking into the cave.

"Okay, _our_ employee. Better?"

"No."

I sat up, keeping a hand tangled in Chibi's fur even as he shifted out from under me, shaking the feeling back into his paws.

"Well, he has to be someone's employee. He can't be his own employee." Yahiko said, stroking his chin.

"That's not what I meant," Konan sighed.

My vision of them was obscured as Naga sat in front of me and opened his own sack. "Here," he said. "I brought you something."

I leaned closer, watching as he pulled out something that looked like half an apple, except it was browner than the ones he usually brought and skewered with a wet stick. I sniffed it. It was strangely sweet.

Naga smiled at my expression, looking at the strange apple. "It's fried apple," he explained.

"You should've seen him," Yahiko said, shaking his head. "I told him it was too dangerous, that there was no way he would grab it without getting caught, but _no._ He had to get one for you, no matter what."

"You distracted the vendor for him," Konan deadpanned.

Yahiko laughed, scratching his cheek. "Well, what kind of boss would I be if I didn't help my employee out once in a while?"

"Try it, Oka," Naga said quietly.

I gave it another cautious sniff and took a small bite. My eyes widened. It was so good. I leapt at him and Naga twisted, holding his hand up higher as I bit at his fingers. I could see how hard he was trying not to laugh as I tried to yank his hand down.

"She must be really hungry," Yahiko said to Konan.

"No-" Naga started to answer but was cut off as I shoved my weight against his chest and he toppled. He did laugh then, and I grabbed the stick before he could recover, retreating to a corner of the cave.

"She's just a wolf." Naga said from the ground.

For all the effort I put into getting the fried apple, I was too tired to finish it in the end.

"Alright, who's carrying her back?" Yahiko asked as I fought to keep my eyes open.

"I will. I don't have as much stuff as you guys," Konan offered.

 **戦争**

I blinked once. Twice.

From over Konan's shoulder, I saw that the path to the hideout was blocked by a field of bodies. I lifted my head, wiping away drool. I looked left, then right, but there was nothing but smoke and the dead all around us.

Konan shuddered, turning away from it.

"I hate war," Yahiko said through his teeth, hands curled into fists.

 _Is this war?_

I'd only heard the word twice before. Once, when Yahiko found us. And again when I woke up in the middle of the night and Yahiko was teaching Naga about war. But no one had ever explained it to me.

 _What did it mean to be 'at war'?_

"We have to go down there."

Konan took a step back. "No way, let's just go the long way."

I spotted Naga standing off to the side, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

 _Why? Why was he sad?_

Yahiko took a deep breath. "They might have something we can use." He didn't look back, eyes searching the battlefield. "We need weapons. If we ever get caught in the middle they won't stop just because we're kids."

"Yahiko-"

"That's just the way it is," he said loudly, then jumped down.

"Wait-!" Konan frowned. "What do we do, Nagato?"

Naga stared at the bodies. Then he turned and locked eyes with me. "We have to protect each other," he said, then sat on the edge and slid down after Yahiko.

Konan closed her eyes. "Okay." She tightened her grip around me. "Hold on, Oka."

I looked down. "What about Chibi?"

Konan glanced at the dog at her feet. She scratched behind his ears. "We'll be right back. Stay here," she ordered him, voice shaking. She straightened, swallowed, and carefully made her way down.

I wrapped my arms around her neck as she wobbled, staring at Chibi until I couldn't see him anymore. "Konan, what does war mean?" I asked.

Konan sucked in, but before she could answer, I heard a soft squelch and felt her tense. I peeked over her shoulder. She had one foot deep in a red puddle. It was something I'd seen before. When mama and papa disappeared, there was red all over the floor.

Konan gagged, then abruptly put me down. She stumbled to the side and threw up.

 _Why was everything so red in 'war'?_

I leaned closer to the puddle, staring at the reflection looking back at me. I crouched down as rain hit the surface, making her ripple and disappear. "What's war?" I asked when she came back, only for her to vanish again

I looked back, but Konan was still throwing up.

 _Why was she so sick?_

I could see Yahiko halfway across the field, rummaging through the pockets of a body. Naga was closer, stuffing an abandoned kunai in his pouch. The closest body to me was a woman wearing a red jacket. After making sure Konan was still occupied, I went over to her. Maybe I couldn't steal, but I could help with this.

The ground around her was charred. Grass cracked under my feet. She was facedown. Her clothes were ripped and melted, to the point where I could see some of the bone in her leg. Her eyes were still open.

"Are you war?" I asked, standing over her.

She didn't answer.

I turned around. Yahiko had moved onto another body. His hands were red. Naga's pouch looked fuller than before. I sat and patted the woman down like Yahiko was doing. She looked shocked at her death, like she couldn't believe it.

 _Was she really dead?_

I didn't know. I dug through her pockets and patted down what was left of her clothes, but I didn't find anything. My legs were covered in soot when I stood up again. I tried to brush it off, but it only got on my fingers. Was this what war felt like? Sticky and black and it got everywhere? I held out my hands, asking the rain to wash it away.

I was a few feet away from another body—turned on its side so I couldn't see the face—when someone grabbed my wrist. I looked down. A man wearing a gray jacket stared back, red dribbling from his mouth. He had one eye closed, the skin around it red. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go.

"You," he gasped. "I remember you-" He coughed so hard it made his body rattle.

 _They weren't dead._

"It makes me happy, you know," he wheezed, falling onto his back. His grip slackened, and I saw a hole in his middle. "That Ame gave you a chance in the end, even when I thought…" Red covered my feet. "Even when I gave up." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Oka!"

I turned, just as I was yanked away from him. His hand hit the ground and he didn't move again. Naga blocked my view as he put me down, patting my arms and legs. "You're okay?"

I nodded. "I'm okay, Naga."

He frowned, looking around, "Where's Konan? She was supposed to be with you."

I pointed. Konan was sitting where I'd left her, her back to the field. She was leaning down, squeezing Chibi.

Naga grabbed my hand, his eyes going wide at the black marks. He sighed. "I wanted to protect you from this. Pain, death, war. I don't want you to hurt like I do, Oka."

I pulled my hand out of his grip and wiped a tear off his cheek. "Don't be sad, Naga."

He hugged me instead of answering.

 **友達**

"Wait," Yahiko said, eyes narrowing. "Something's wrong."

Naga stopped behind him. I could feel his apprehension in the way his shoulders rose as he looked around the market, his suddenly tight grip around me.

Konan paused in the middle of feeding Chibi stale bread. "There's no one here," she frowned.

I glanced around without lifting my head. The stalls were abandoned. Some had tarps haphazardly tossed over them, but most were left open, free for the taking. There were no mean-faced vendors glaring at us for walking too close, no customers begging to know when the next shipment of fruit or meat would arrive. I could still see smoke coming from behind one of the stalls, along with the faint smell of something burning.

But Konan was wrong. There was someone. A man in a gray jacket stood on a roof, staring at something in the distance.

Yahiko saw him too. "Let's go back," he said quickly, turning around.

Naga and Konan followed suit, running after Yahiko.

I was asleep before we left the market, but it was only a little later that I was woken up by the ground violently shaking. I saw Yahiko stumble, throwing his arms out to keep his balance. Konan tumbled backwards with a sharp cry. Chibi whimpered, tail between his legs. Naga dropped to his knees, grunting as he fought to stay upright.

Then just as abruptly, the ground stilled.

"Naga?" I asked him.

"I'm okay," he whispered as he got up, but he wasn't. The knees of his pants were red.

"Almost there!" Yahiko shouted, beckoning us forward as he took off.

I held on as Naga ran after him, Konan on his heels with Chibi cowering in her arms. She shot me a smile, even though her eyes were wide and scared.

"Not this way," Yahiko said suddenly, backing up. "Go back that way. We've gotta find another-"

A crash interrupted him, and Yahiko threw up his hands as we were showered with dirt. I hid in Naga's shoulder until it was over. When I looked up again, a giant salamander towered over us, facing the other way. My eyes widened. It was bigger than anything I'd ever seen.

"The other way is still blocked," Konan told him, shaking dirt out of her hair.

Yahiko stared at it, then shook his head. "This way." He backtracked, squeezing through a narrow alleyway between two crumbling buildings.

I lost sight of the salamander until we were on the other side. Purple mist coated the area in front of it. I heard a scream, and a man in a green jacket was tossed in the air and swallowed whole.

"Don't look, Oka," Naga murmured.

 _Is this what war means?_

"We just gotta stay low," Yahiko whispered, dropping to his knees as he crawled forward.

The ground shuddered and Naga froze, staring up as the salamander split open the ground and burrowed into the dirt. The ground cracked and bulged as it moved. The shaking started again, worse than before. Yahiko fell. Konan screamed. Naga was thrown to the ground. He lost his grip and I fell hard, the sky and ground becoming one for a second as I rolled across the dirt.

The world finally stopped spinning as I came to a stop on my stomach. The back of my head hurt, and something dripped from my ear.

 _Water,_ I thought. But that was silly. Why would water be coming from my ear?

Chibi licked my cheek. He wanted me to get up, but I couldn't focus. A second Chibi stood next to him when I looked up, and they kept blurring together and making me dizzy. Were there always two Chibi's?

One of the Chibi's barked, yanking on my sleeve. I was too tired to move. I laid my cheek against the ground. We could play later, when my head wasn't so fuzzy.

I looked at my hand, turning it back and forth. I had too many fingers, but that was okay. I closed my eyes.

"Oka!" The yell was distant, coming from somewhere far away.

Chibi tugged harder, whining, but it was muffled and subdued like my ears were filled with cotton. I smiled, brushing my fingers through his fur. Then I heard a soft _thunk._

I opened my eyes. A kunai was lodged in the dirt a few feet away. It had a scrap of paper with weird markings on it. And the paper was on fire.

"Oka!" It was louder this time, panicked and afraid.

A weight dropped on top of me, and my vision went black as my head hit the ground, a second before everything turned a brilliant white.

* * *

 **A/N:** **平和 - Peace,** **敵 - Enemies,** **戦争 - War,** **友達 - Friends**


	5. A Girl Named Oka - Part 2

"The never-ending sadness that I live with

A flavorless insanity I can't evade

I see that it's more than I can chew

But I alone hold on to all the pain I can't erase."

-Kuraiinu, Fixer

* * *

I was floating.

No, that wasn't right. I could feel the soft pull of the water, the current pushing me back and forth as my body was dragged deeper into its depths.

I was sinking.

I sank like a lead balloon. My chest was filled with water, and my lungs had long ago given up on breathing. My heart though, I could still feel it. The rest of my body was numb as I fell further away from the surface, the light above me dimming. Kelp circled me, helping to pull me down to the sea floor.

My heart was still going. Continuing its fruitless effort to pump blood and oxygen to the parts of my body that needed it most, fighting to filter out all the water.

I stared up. If I just moved my arms, kicked my legs a little, I could make it back to the surface. It would be easy. It had been just as easy to hold my breath and stop kicking. To slip under the surface like I was just another piece of debris in an ocean of trash.

I exhaled, watching the last of my oxygen float up to the surface. I closed my eyes.

 _Just give up,_ I told my heart. _You can't save me._

It struggled, of course. Beating faster, more ferociously, struggling as hard as it could to keep me alive. But it needed oxygen. And that was something I refused to give it. I could feel it slowing, finally realizing it was a losing battle. I listened to my heart until it stopped, the steady _lub-dub_ the last sound I would ever hear.

 **秋**

"I had a bad dream, Naga," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

I looked up, only to be met with hair that was orange instead of red.

"Finally awake, eh?" Yahiko asked, shooting me a small smile.

My head throbbed. I leaned against his shoulder. "What happened to the salamander?"

"Man, I can't believe you slept through everything," Yahiko said with a shake of his head. "Where do I start? We met these three shinobi who survived all the fighting. One of them was a jerk who said we would be better off dead, but the other two were okay." He freed a hand to reach into the pouch tied to his hip, pulling out a handful of broken crackers. "They couldn't stay, but they gave us these. I'm going to find them again. And I'll make them teach us how to fight."

I was too tired to ask about the salamander again. "Where's Naga?"

"Huh? He's back there." Yahiko turned slightly and I saw him off to the side, body angled away from us. His head was down, hair covering most of his face. I tried to turn more but moving too much made my vision swim.

"Okay," I murmured, closing my eyes.

"How can you be happy right now?" Konan asked quietly.

Yahiko stopped.

"Chibi's gone, but all you're talking about is those three."

I blinked at her empty arms. She ducked away from my searching gaze, wrapping her arms around herself. The world swayed dangerously when I leaned back, looking for Chibi around her, but he wasn't there either.

"Chibi?" I mumbled.

"I'm not happy," Yahiko said.

"You're not sad either," Konan muttered.

Yahiko stared at her, then up at the sky. "Crying won't change anything," he said. "The only way to change things is to force them to change. Just wait a little longer, Konan. I'm going to get strong. Strong enough to make sure there aren't anymore 'Chibi's'."

My head was pounding. "I want to see him."

Konan looked away. "You can't, Oka. He's not here anymore."

"Where did he go?"

Yahiko grimaced.

"He's dead," Konan said loudly.

"We were going to tell you when we got back," Yahiko added, kicking a rock. It rolled across the ground and landed in a puddle with a soft splash.

The salamander. It made the ground shake. Chibi was pulling on my shirt. I looked at the bite marks on my sleeve. Something landed next to us. Then what? I sagged against Yahiko, exhausted. It felt like everything was spinning.

"Liars," I mumbled, because Chibi couldn't be dead. Dead, like the people in the field? Or dead like the men who were swallowed whole by the salamander?

"It's true," Yahiko said. "I wanted to bring him back with us, but there wasn't much left."

Dead like the men who were swallowed by the salamander. I wouldn't find his body. And he wouldn't get back up when I passed by. "Why?" I asked him.

 _Why did the war take Chibi?_

Konan shuddered, fists pressed against her eyes. "I wish I didn't see what he looked like after." She sniffed hard. Then there was a loud thud _._

Yahiko turned. His eyes widened. Naga was face down on the ground, red pooling beneath him. "Nagato!" He ran, dropping down beside him.

"What happened?" Konan asked, helping me down as Yahiko grabbed Naga's arm and carefully rolled him over.

Yahiko inhaled. Konan covered her mouth, eyes wide. The left half of Naga's body was covered in burns. His face was swollen and a dark, blistering red. But it was worse when I looked down. Yahiko tugged on Naga's collar and I saw blackened skin for a second before Yahiko jerked his hand back. Naga's clothes were soaked red.

"Naga?" I touched his hand, waiting for him to tell me he was okay like always, but he didn't. I pulled back, and my fingers were red. I stared at them, long after the rain washed it off.

"Damn it!" Yahiko punched the ground, ducking his head. "Why'd you have to go and lie, Nagato? You said you were okay. You told us over and over and _over_ that you didn't get hurt too bad. You didn't have to hide it." He sat back and scrubbed his hands through his hair. "We gotta get him back to the hideout. I'll take him, and you carry Oka."

 _So much red._

Konan stared at Naga. "What do we do?" She stood as Yahiko grunted, tugging Naga's arm over his shoulder. "He needs help. _Real_ help."

"I know," Yahiko said. "I've got a plan."

I looked at all the red Naga left behind through my fingers.

"Okay. Let's go, Oka." Konan took my hand and forced me to my feet.

 **損失**

I sat next to Yahiko, helping him put soft, lumpy fruit in a straw basket. My fingers dented the skin of a green one as I picked it up. Most of the food we had left was squishy on the outside and brown on the inside. Konan went out earlier, but she said that there wasn't anything left of the market.

One of the buildings fell, she'd said.

"You're not going alone, Yahiko. I'm going too."

Yahiko shook his head without looking, "You gotta look after Nagato while I'm gone. Besides, I'll be back before you know it. I'm going to find those three and bring them back here by tomorrow, promise."

I put the fruit in the basket and grabbed another one—a soggy, pruning apple.

Yahiko tied a small sheet of wood over the top once it was full. Then he pulled the straps over his shoulders and stood. I watched him smile, though his eyes were sad. "I'll look out for any apples while I'm out there. Fresh ones." He hopped over the barrier and held up a hand. "See you later, Konan."

"I'll be mad if you die!" she yelled after him.

His laugh echoed back to us, "Can't die yet. I'm still not a god."

Once I was sure he was gone, I crawled over to Konan. She was kneeling next to Naga. She put a wet, torn cloth over his forehead with one hand and wiped her eyes with the other. I put a hand flat against his cheek, the same way he always felt my forehead. He was burning up. His breathing was wet and raspy, like he had water in his throat.

"Is Naga going to die?" I asked her.

Konan looked startled. She smiled, squeezing her hands together in her lap. "Of course not. Yahiko will find those guys and they're going to fix him."

I laid down and leaned against Naga's chest, watching his face twist in pain. I closed my eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He coughed, and I could hear the rattle in his lungs.

"Why does war hurt so much?" I asked.

I missed Chibi. I missed the way he would curl up with me when I was tired, how he looked like he was smiling when his tongue was hanging out. I even missed his bad dreams. I wanted to hug him and pretend that Naga was okay, but I couldn't.

Before I knew it, I was crying.

Konan patted my shoulder. "It's okay to cry. I miss him too."

I fell asleep, dreaming of the girl that was lost to the sea and the dog that would've pulled her out and given her a reason to live.

 **塩水**

"Alright brat, who is it that needs my help?"

I stirred at the voice, sitting up. A woman ducked into the entrance of the hideout, her blond hair tied into twin tails. She gave the barrier a brief, unimpressed glance before her eyes rose, searching the room. She looked over the waterlogged crates and deflated sacks scattered around, then stopped on me. Her eyes narrowed for a second before she moved onto Konan, then Naga. Her lips pulled into a deep frown.

A man with even longer white hair followed her, stroking his chin as he took in his surroundings. And behind him-

"You took longer than a day," Konan said.

Yahiko grinned, lacing his hands behind his head. "It took a lot longer to convince these guys than I thought it would, but I still did it, didn't I?"

Konan returned his smile.

The woman strode forward and knelt beside Naga without a word. She inspected his face, her mouth twisting into a thin line. She moved her hands over his chest, and my eyes widened when her palms started to glow green.

"Hmm," the white-haired man nodded to himself, looking Konan up and down. "I can already see that you're going to grow up into a beautiful young woman."

The woman shot him a fierce glare. "Quiet, you. I can't concentrate with you hitting on little girls."

"What? I wasn't hitting on her. It was a compliment-"

Her eyes narrowed, and the man paled, holding his hands up.

I inched closer, staring at her glowing hands. I'd never seen glowing hands before. "Will Naga be okay?"

The woman sighed. "Let me work," she said.

I sat back, watching her mutter to herself as she moved down to his stomach. The glow faded, and she tugged his shirt off. Naga twisted, a gargled scream tearing out of his throat as some of his skin came off with it.

"You and you," the woman looked at Konan, then Yahiko, "Hold him down."

It was bad. Even Yahiko looked sick as he pinned Naga's right arm, Konan on his left. His left side was turning red again, the skin peeling and yellow. The area around it was shriveled. There were holes where the burns didn't heal properly.

The woman barely looked at his wounds before tugging off his pants. Naga didn't react that time, head lolling to the side.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is going to take a while, Jiraya."

"Hm?" Jiraya paused in the middle of rummaging through our stolen goods. "Take as long as you need. As long as I get to hang around a bunch of pretty ladies then I'm just fine-"

He toppled over as a crate abruptly smashed into his face.

"Ignore him," the woman said, cracking her knuckles. She stretched her fingers, hands glowing again as she pressed her palms against Naga's chest. His arm spasmed.

"What's wrong with him?" Yahiko asked.

"He has a bad infection. Fluid in his lungs," she said tersely. "And he'll die if I don't concentrate on what I'm doing."

I slipped a hand between them and grabbed Naga's fingers. _You'll be okay,_ I thought.

 **悲しみ**

"Here, Oka. You should eat."

I blinked at Yahiko, then the apple he held out. I was tired, even though I just woke up. I could see a tiny version of me reflected on the surface of the apple, distorting the more he moved his hand.

"What's wrong? I promised you a fresh apple, right?"

I grasped at it but couldn't reach all the way, so Yahiko lowered his arm. It was hard and cold. Naga was always the one to bring me apples. I hugged it to my chest and closed my eyes.

"What happened to him?" the woman asked. She said her name was Tsunade.

"A paper bomb," Yahiko said.

"We got too close to the fighting. Nagato was the only one who saw it," Konan quietly added.

"That's why you've gotta help us get stronger. So this never happens again."

"You've got quite the ambition, eh?" Jiraya asked. "But let's just focus on your friend first, alright?"

"I am focusing on him," I heard dirt crunch under Yahiko's heel as he turned. "He was only hurt because we're weak and slow. We have weapons, but they're no good to us since we don't know how to use them. We can't defend ourselves. We can't put up a fight. That's why you need to train us. So we can become strong enough to end this war."

Jiraya whistled, "Those are some big dreams, kid. It won't be as easy as you think it is, you know."

"Doesn't matter," Yahiko said. "I'll do it."

"And how do you expect to do that? A lot of people have tried and failed."

"With my friends," Yahiko answered. "They'll help me become a god of peace. Then I'll free everyone from the burden of war."

Jiraya was quiet for a long while. "Let's talk about this in the morning, yeah?" He yawned, loud and exaggerated. "It's too late to make a decision like that now."

"Why are you helping us?" Konan spoke up.

"What kind of medic-nin would I be if I ignored a dying child just because they were from a different village? That blood would be on my hands," she snorted. "We're not even at war with Ame. If I didn't help, what would make me any different from all the other shinobi that come here dragging this village into a battle it has nothing to do with?"

 _Shi-no-bi,_ I recited, committing the word to memory.

"What if it was a trap?" Konan asked.

"Then I'd kick the ass of the adult who dared to use a child like that. Anything else?" she asked, her tone making it clear she was done answering questions.

Jiraya coughed lightly, "That was almost treasonous, Tsuna."

"Oh, shove it up your ass," Tsunade hissed back at him.

 **スタンド**

I reached out, but stopped short of touching Naga. My fingers hovered over his cheek. It wasn't swollen anymore. His skin was better too. Bright pink instead of angry red. I glanced up at Tsunade. She let me watch, if I didn't touch him.

Sweat covered her forehead, her breathing just slightly uneven. Her hands were glowing over his left leg, which was still covered in pockets of yellow.

"What's that?"

Tsunade looked at me, so I pointed at her hands. She looked surprised, then a little sad. "Chakra."

 _Chak-ra._

"And it's making Naga better?"

"It is."

Tsunade was in a good mood today. If she didn't want to talk, she would've said so. I watched her use chakra, and after a while the yellow started to fade.

"Who are you to him?" Tsunade abruptly asked.

"Sister," I answered, slow and careful. It had been a long time since I used that word. I wasn't sure if I pronounced it right.

Tsunade nodded to Konan, "And them? Are they your family too?"

"No," Konan said for me.

At the same time, Yahiko gave the opposite answer.

"Well, they're my best friends," he admitted after a quick glance at Konan. "But Oka's the closest thing I have to a little sister. And who said family had to be the people you're related to, anyway?" he grumbled.

Tsunade sat back, the chakra vanishing. "I'm taking a break," she announced. "I could really use some sake right about now," she sighed.

"How much longer?" Jiraya asked.

"Until I'm done. Go back and annoy Orochimaru if you're bored," Tsunade answered with a scoff.

"And miss out on this view-?" Jiraya received a swift sack to the chest before he could finish. A few bruised oranges rolled out and made a mess on the floor.

Konan made a noise of dismay.

Tsunade paused at the wasted food, regret flashing in her eyes. She shook her head and turned her stare on me. "You. Come here."

I blinked but obeyed, pushing off the ground. I was a little dizzy as I moved to stand in front of her but managed to stay still as she grabbed my arm. She felt my forehead with her other hand. Looking up, I could see a faint glow. Her chakra tickled.

"Just as I thought." She pulled back. "You have fevers? Chills?"

I nodded. I knew I had fevers because Naga said so. But I didn't know what 'chills' meant.

"Something wrong?" Yahiko asked, hopping off the crate he'd been sitting on.

"You have too much chakra," Tsunade said, flat out ignoring him. She tapped my chest. "To be more specific, too much spiritual chakra. I felt it the first time I saw you, but I couldn't believe it was coming from such a tiny brat. For most people, it takes years and years of practice and meditation to build up this much."

I tilted my head. "Spiritual chakra?"

"You were unlucky enough to be born with it," Tsunade went on as if I didn't speak. "No wonder you spend all your time sleeping and being sick," she snorted. "Your body is not meant to hold the amount of spiritual chakra you have. Not without intense training."

She poked my stomach next. "Right now, you're not producing enough physical chakra to balance it out. Not by a long shot. That's why your body keeps breaking down. You're not strong enough to keep all that spiritual chakra contained. It's overflowing from your chakra network. Once you start producing more physical chakra, the fevers and fatigue will lessen."

She took one look at my blank expression and sighed, "You might not understand it now, but you will one day. There won't be anyone to tell you once I'm gone, so it's better you know now. Don't forget it." She waved me away. "Oh, and you have a mild concussion."

Yahiko threw up his hands. "See? This is why you should train us. I didn't understand any of that."

I stared at my hands. Was spiritual chakra green too? Or was it a different color? How many colors of chakra were there?

I didn't notice Jiraya in the back, watching me with keen eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: 秋 - Fall,** 損失 **-** **Loss, 塩水 - Saltwater, 悲しみ - Sorrow,** **スタンド** \- **Stand**


	6. A Girl Named Oka - Part 3

"Crawling, Crawling,

Out Tonight and See,

Everyone Up Scrambling to the Beat,

Easy, Easy

Envy All You Need,

Dancing on Without a Clue,

She's Been A Very Blind Girl."

-Hitorinbo Envy, Jubyphonic

* * *

I pressed my thumb against the dirt, drawing a replica of Chibi between my legs while Konan sat behind me, twisting my hair into a braid.

"Ah, your hair is so long, Oka. I wish mine was this long," Konan said.

I poked dots where his eyes were supposed to be and drew triangles for ears. "I miss Chibi," I said, a quiet, painful ache in my chest. I pressed a hand over my heart, but it was hurting inside, where I couldn't reach.

Konan faltered, and my hair fell around my shoulders like a curtain. "I do too," she said. "But that's why we're helping Yahiko become a god of peace, remember? To make a world where there are no more Chibi's, like he said."

I nodded, but the ache didn't go away.

Konan twirled a strand of my hair around her finger. "I'm sorry, Oka," she murmured.

"Why?" I looked back, searching for the reason for her apology.

Konan gave me a small, sad smile. "I was in charge of watching you," she explained, lifting her hair-twined finger. "Before the salamander. Back at that field. I saw that guy grab you, but I froze. He could've hurt you." She shook the hair away and re-started the braid. "I never said sorry."

She turned my head, and I drew a smile in the dirt with my nail. Chibi would've like it, I think.

"It reminded me of something bad that happened to my mom and dad," Konan went on, shuddering. "They left to fight, when I was little."

I heard her sniff.

It had been a long time since I thought of Mama and Papa. The ache worsened into a sharp, pulsing pain. They were like Chibi, or the people that were swallowed by the salamander. Not maybe-dead, but _dead_ dead _._ Why else would they have left us all alone? Why else would thinking about them hurt so much?

"Little- _er,_ " Konan corrected with a shaky smile. "They said not to look for them if they didn't come back, but I did. I found them in a place like that, and I ran away."

I scrubbed away the image of Chibi. I didn't remember much of Mama. Her hair was red, like Naga's, but brighter, curlier. Her voice always made me feel warm. Papa had big hands. One could fit over my whole head.

"I'll say sorry to Naga too, when he wakes up," Konan said.

I felt something slide down my cheek and brushed my hand against it, staring when I saw that my fingers were wet. I wasn't sad. Was I?

Tsunade was bent over Naga, Jiraya crouched beside her. I could hear them whispering to each other.

I looked at my fingers again. _This was war,_ I realized.

It wasn't the salamander ripping the ground apart. It wasn't a field of the dead. It was the way Konan's hands shook, the desperation that drove Naga to steal, the deep hurt of being left behind.

"I'll tell him for you," I said, drawing a kunai in the dirt.

I would learn to fight, too. I would help Yahiko become a god.

 **男の子**

I smoothed a bandage over Naga's cheek, mimicking the way Tsunade had put one over his shoulder. She said it had medicine on it that would help him heal faster.

Yahiko sat beside me, tossing a grapefruit up and down. It was orange-brown, caved in and wrinkly. He was leaning back, staring at the roof. It made a wet slap each time he caught it.

"I want to steal," I told him. "I'm big enough now."

Yahiko hummed. "I don't know," he said. "You're still pretty little."

"I'll be a good em-ploy-ee," I insisted, sounding out the word as best I could. "I'll steal lots of meat."

Yahiko laughed, sitting up. He held the grapefruit in his lap, peeling the skin off with a finger. "Why do you want to steal all of a sudden?"

"So you can become a god faster," I said, facing him.

Yahiko pulled out a mushy, only slightly brown piece and held it out.

I nibbled on it as he spoke, "We can't steal the way we used to. A lot of stored fruit was destroyed during the attack." He scratched out another piece and popped it in his mouth. "No one is selling food anymore, and there won't be any coming in for a while. It's too dangerous."

"No food?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"Nope. But you don't have to worry. I'll think of something," he said, holding out another piece. He grinned. "What kind of boss would I be if I let my employees starve?"

It was slippery and sticky in my grip. "I hate war," I declared.

Yahiko nodded, "I'll start here, with the rain. I'll make it stop."

"Will the sun come out?" I asked. I remembered the book with the drawing of the sun. It was supposed to be in places where it didn't rain.

"Yep. All the clouds will go away too. It'll be like a brand-new place, where nobody has to die because of war."

I tried to imagine it. It would be warm all the time, and there would be lots of food for everyone.

"We'll have to rename it," Yahiko said, stroking his chin. "We won't be able to call it 'Ame' anymore."

"I missed it," Naga croaked, weak and raspy.

"It's about time," Yahiko said, giving him a grin, "You can't keep sleeping all the time, Nagato. We've got work to do."

"I tried," Naga murmured. "I tried so hard to stay awake."

"Naga?" I leaned closer. "You okay?"

Naga winced as he turned his head, lifting a hand to touch the bandage on his face.

"No, don't!" Yahiko grabbed his wrist. "Don't touch it. It's still healing."

Naga focused on him, seeing him for the first time. He looked past him, at me. "I wanted to get something," he said. "For your birthday. But I missed it."

I didn't know what he meant. I smiled anyway. "Don't be sad, Naga. It's o-kay."

"I won't know when it is now. It was tomorrow, but it's not the same day. It'll be so long from now," he trembled.

"Tomorrow?" Yahiko repeated. "You mean the day after the attack?"

"Yeah," Naga sniffed. "It feels like a long time ago, now."

Yahiko nodded. "I'll ask around," he said. "Find out what day it was."

Naga's eyes widened.

"Come on, don't look at me like that," Yahiko said, sheepish. He looked away. "It's no big deal. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't know my little sister's birthday?"

"Right," Naga said, wiping his eyes with his good hand.

I tilted my head back when I heard footsteps and saw Tsunade standing in front of the barrier, hands on her hips. "Listen up brats," she said, eyeing us, then Konan, who was surrounded by paper flowers.

"Jiraya and I agreed to train you, starting first thing tomorrow," she announced.

"You get your wish, kid. I hope you're happy," Jiraya drawled.

Yahiko threw his hands up and cheered.

"And who knows? Maybe you _will_ end the war one day. It would make a good book," he mused.

"We were waiting for you to wake up before making a decision," Tsunade said to Naga. "Because I'm going to teach you medical ninjutsu. You need to learn to take care of those scars. The skin is still sensitive and prone to infection. It could take months before you have full mobility again and they'll never go away completely, but you don't have to be held back by them, either."

"Jiraya will train the rest of you," Tsunade said with a dismissive wave. "Let's go."

"All our stuff…" Naga trailed off.

"What? You mean the rotten food? Leave it."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"A safehouse," she said curtly. "You can stay there until we say otherwise."

"What about Nagato? He can't move," Konan said.

"I've got him," Yahiko said, bending to grab Naga's arm.

Naga squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering as he was forced to sit up.

I touched his good arm. He was warm, not feverish.

"I'm okay," Naga said again.

"No," Tsunade said. "He's not ready to move like that. Jiraya will carry him."

"Jiraya will what?" He shivered when he made eye contact with Tsunade, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. I, the great toad sage, the gallant, strongest of the three newly minted sanin-"

"Enough show-boating," Tsunade growled.

"Eh? But you know you love it," he winked as he took Naga from Yahiko.

I frowned as Naga cried out.

"I'll be careful," he said to Tsunade, then hopped over the barrier.

Yahiko offered me his hand, "Or do you want to be carried instead?"

"I'm too big to be carried," I decided.

"You're in a rebellious phase, hm? Konan was in one a little while ago," he said, thoughtful as he rubbed his chin. "She wouldn't eat green fruit. At all."

"That wasn't a phase," Konan retorted, turning red.

"Then what was it?" Yahiko asked, eyebrow raised.

Konan became redder. She picked up a paper flower and threw it at him.

I watched it flutter to the ground a foot in front of her.

"What about the time you would only sleep out in the rain?" she asked.

"Ah, ah. It's rude to talk about other people, Konan," Yahiko said sagely.

Konan spluttered. She shoved him as she went past, refusing to look at him.

"Is she mad?" I asked, taking his hand.

"No. She's in another phase, probably."

"Yahiko!"

 **誰**

I woke up to familiar voices, coming from somewhere behind me.

"You have to teach us to fish," Yahiko insisted.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Naga was on the floor next to me, a folded rag over his forehead. It was cold to the touch. His cheek was hot. He had a fever again.

"Let's stick with one thing at a time," Jiraya said. "How am I supposed to have any time to see if this place has any decent bathhouses if I'm spending every second of the day teaching the four of you?"

I heard a loud thump and glanced over as Jiraya unwrapped the biggest fish I'd ever seen. Faint trails of smoke drifted off it. My mouth watered. It was cooked meat.

"Where's Tsunade?" Konan asked. She was sitting in front of the small table, eyes on the fish as Jiraya stepped away.

I inched closer. My stomach growled, and I squeezed the front of my shirt. The smell filled my head and I felt dizzy with hunger.

"She went off in search of a bar," he explained. "Fixing your friend took a lot out of her, but you shouldn't worry. You're in the hands of Jiraya the Sanin." He hooked a thumb at himself with a grin.

"Heya, Oka," Yahiko waved from the counter he sat on.

"Sanin?" Konan asked.

I pointed at the fish, uncertain and asking for permission.

"Yes, you can have it," Jiraya answered for him. "I caught it for the four of you, after all."

He gave Konan a wry smile. "It was a fancy way for the leader here to congratulate us on the honor of not dying."

I brightened, running to the table. I dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of meat with my bare hands, shoving it all in my mouth.

Konan covered her mouth to hide her giggle, leaning out of the way of the shrapnel.

"Watch out for bones," Jiraya said weakly.

I ripped off another handful, swallowing as I picked up bits I'd dropped on the floor.

"Does she always eat like that?" Jiraya asked, somewhere between awed and disturbed.

Konan peeled off a piece as Yahiko hopped off the counter. "She's hungry," he said with a shrug. "We all are. There isn't a right way to eat when you live like we do."

"It's really good," Konan said as Yahiko sat on the other side of the table.

He tore off a strip but didn't eat it. His gaze was distant.

"Yahiko?" she asked.

"I started thinking of all the street kids who won't get to eat because all the food is gone," he murmured, then laughed a little when Konan frowned. He scratched his cheek. "The things we have to change. It's a long list. I think about it all the time."

"I get it," she said. "But you can't become strong enough to do that if you don't eat."

"You're right," Yahiko nodded, chewing on his strip. "When did you start sounding so grown-up?"

"I've always been grown-up," she protested.

Yahiko made a noise of disagreement. "Grown-ups don't eat fruit by color," he pointed out.

"I thought that it was rude to talk about other people, _Yahiko._ "

"That rule doesn't exist anymore."

"Huh? Why not?"

"I made it up, so I un-made it."

I watched them, grease on my hands and bits of fish stuck under my nails.

"That's not how rules work," Konan deadpanned.

"It is if you're the one making the rules."

"You won't care if I tell Oka about the time you lost all of our food in a bet with—"

"Let's agree to disagree," Yahiko interrupted her. He stood, wiping his hands on his pants. "Had enough, Oka?"

I answered him by grabbing another handful and retreating to a corner.

"We should save the rest for Nagato."

Konan paused. She tore her gaze away from the fish and got up. "Okay."

Yahiko glanced at me again. "No more, okay?"

I bared my teeth at him, eyes narrowed.

Yahiko looked away. He reconsidered his request as Konan giggled. "You can finish that half," he amended. "But leave that side for Nagato."

I thought it over, looking at the squished ball of meat in my palm. I padded back to the table.

Yahiko tapped his chin. "Is that a yes?" he asked.

Konan laughed and walked away from him.

"Konan? Help me out here!"

 **意志**

I used Naga's right leg as a pillow, watching him practice the exercises Tsunade taught him to help get his mobility back to the way it used to be. I felt him shudder as he clenched and unclenched his scarred hand, breathing hard.

I touched his other arm, but he didn't have a fever anymore.

"I'll work on getting stronger," he murmured. "So you don't have to worry about me like this anymore."

"I don't like it when you have fevers," I said.

"Me neither." He cringed when he tried to stretch his hand out, shuddering again.

I yawned. Konan and Yahiko sat out in the rain, eyes closed, hands folded in their laps.

"You shouldn't try to push yourself as hard as them, Oka," Naga said, massaging his wrist. " _I_ don't like it when you tire yourself out. You're still little."

"Am not," I said. I wanted to keep trying to feel my chakra, but I couldn't stay awake, no matter how hard I tried.

Naga patted my head. "Don't try to grow up too fast. Being little is better than being a grown-up."

"It's not," I grumbled.

"I felt it!" Yahiko jumped up. His eyes were bright. "What's next?"

Tsunade flicked his forehead and he tumbled over. "Not so fast, brat," she said. "You can't learn to run before you know how to crawl. Feeling it won't cut it. You have to learn to manipulate it to go where you want it to, _then_ mold it into an elemental nature."

"That would make a good quote for my book," Jiraya murmured. He sat back on the porch, hands linked behind his head.

Yahiko sat up. "Yeah, but I'm still one step closer, right?"

Tsunade stared at him.

Jiraya shook his head and said, "You've got charisma, kid. I'll give you that."

 **される 神**

"Now that you've got the basics down, we'll start on water-walking," Tsunade said, hands on her hips. "I expect it to be mastered by the end of the week. Any objections?"

Jiraya coughed. "They just learned what chakra is _,_ Tsuna. Give them a break."

I sat at the edge of a pond, drawing circles in the water with the tip of my finger. "I know it now," I said softly, pulling back just long enough for my reflection to appear. "What it means. War," I told her.

"We don't have time to wait around until they're ready," Tsunade said through her teeth. "The war is still going on, in case you forgot. I agreed to train the brats, but I'm not spending the rest of my life in this hellhole. There are people waiting for me back home."

Jiraya shook his head. "And what about that one?" he asked, hooking a thumb at Naga.

Naga sat cross-legged off to the side, eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to feel his chakra. The left side of his body was covered in special bandages to protect his still-sensitive skin from the rain.

"You think he can master medical-ninjutsu in two months?"

Tsunade looked at him, her lips thinning. She turned and strode out onto the surface of the lake without a word, the soles of her feet coated in a bright blue hue.

The other me rippled violently and disappeared. It was chakra, I knew, but not the same chakra as before. The chakra she used to heal Naga— _medical ninjutsu_ —was green.

Konan gasped.

"A week, huh?" Yahiko mused, crouched beside me. "That's too long. I'm going to master it today."

Jiraya laughed. "There's ambition, and then there's this kid."

"He will," I said, pushing myself up.

Yahiko smiled. "You don't have to believe me," he said to Jiraya. "I'll just prove you wrong."

Jiraya turned his gaze to the sky. He opened his mouth, closed it. "You remind me of an old student of mine," was all he said.

"Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once," Tsunade spoke before Yahiko could. "Channel a stream of chakra to the bottom of your feet. Too much and not only are you wasting chakra, but the surface will boil. Too little and the water won't hold you. Aim for the latter. If you push too much chakra to your feet at once, you could burn yourself with it."

Yahiko shut his eyes, clasping his hands together.

"The stream of chakra has to be constantly flowing around your feet. If the water becomes calmer or turbulent, you have to be able to change the amount of chakra you're producing at any moment to match it or you'll fall in. Understand?"

Konan frowned at the pond. "I think so," she said.

Tsunade nodded once, walked back onto land, and went over to Naga.

Yahiko dropped his hands. A faint glow leaked out from under his feet. He took a step forward and fell straight down.

Konan giggled as he came up spluttering, then shrieked as he spit water at her.

I stared at my hands. _Stream of chakra. Too much. Too little._ I didn't understand all of what she said, but I knew I needed to tell my chakra to go to my feet. I frowned. "Go," I sternly ordered it.

"Not like that," Yahiko said as he dragged himself out of the pond.

I blinked at him.

He wrung water out of his shirt. "What did your chakra feel like yesterday?"

Konan took a step forward. She yelped as the water bubbled and steamed beneath her. With an encouraging push from Yahiko, she tipped over, shouting as she smacked the surface.

I looked at my hands again. _Honey,_ was my first thought. It felt thick and heavy and sticky. I tilted my head, "Yahiko, what does honey taste like?"

It was his turn to blink. "I dunno," he said. "I've never had it. But when we stop the rain, we could have all kinds of stuff brought here. It won't be just old fruit and half-expired meat. We could all have honey, then."

I stared up, and droplets pattered against my forehead and cheeks. "When the rain stops," I quietly agreed.

"What was that for?" Konan asked as she surfaced.

"You were doing it wrong," Yahiko said. "You would've burned up the whole pond and left none for the rest of us."

"I wouldn't have," she huffed.

"Yeah, because I stopped you."

Konan tossed a handful of water at him.

Yahiko didn't move as it smacked his back. "Anyway," he said, waving off Konan. "You didn't answer my question, Oka."

It didn't feel right to say it felt like honey. What did honey feel like? I knew it was sticky, but I couldn't imagine the sensation. "It's heavy," I tried to explain. "Hard."

Yahiko nodded. "That's what you should be trying to move. That chakra. Not the chakra in your hands or anywhere else."

"I can't," I said. "It won't go."

"That's why you have to keep practicing," Yahiko said as Konan fell in again. "It'll be easy before you know it."

He shot me a quick grin before he returned to the pond. His right leg stuck to the surface. His left leg did not. He tipped to the side with a yell and a splash.

I sat and nudged the pool of honey in my stomach, urging it to my feet. It resisted my poking, staying in place. Yahiko and Konan already made their chakra move. Why was it so hard for me?

"What's wrong, Oka?"

Konan knelt in front of me.

"Tell me how to do it," I said, frustrated as I poked her stomach.

"Hmm," she considered, poking me back.

I fought off a smile as I pushed her hand away. I was still ticklish.

"You can't give up so easily," she admonished. "No matter how long it takes, you have to keep at it, okay?"

"I can't take too long," I said. "I want to help Yahiko become a god of peace. I can't help if you leave me behind."

"Oh, Oka," Konan said sadly. "We're not leaving you behind. You're not leaving Nagato behind, are you?"

I frowned. "Not the same."

Konan tugged on the end of my braid and I launched forward. She yelped and fell back as I pretended to bite her arm.

"Yahiko, help," she called. "She's gone feral!"

Yahiko nodded. "That's her arm now."

"You won't help me?" Konan spluttered.

"I like having my arms," he said.

I let go. "Don't touch," I warned her seriously, pointing to my hair.

Konan held her hands up. "Okay, okay. The hair is off limits. Still," she glanced at Naga. "It is the same. But he doesn't feel like you're leaving him behind, right?"

"I'm not," I grumbled.

Konan reached out to pat my head, stopped at my growl, and squeezed my shoulder instead. "No one is leaving anyone behind. In fact, you're already ahead of all of us."

I frowned.

"You're little, Oka," Konan said with a soft smile. "By the time you're our age, you'll know way more than we do right now."

"Maybe," I said, relaxing a little.

"You will," Konan said. "Just keep practicing, okay? Like Yahiko said."

I nodded, folding my hands back in my lap.

Konan patted me again and stood.

By mid-afternoon, I'd exhausted myself. I didn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up again in Naga's lap, it was dark.

"It was a great effort, kid, but we can pick it up again tomorrow," Jiraya said.

I lifted my head.

Konan was splayed out on the grass, breathing hard.

"Not yet," Yahiko panted.

"Some of us need our beauty sleep," Jiraya complained.

I heard a splash.

"The first lesson you should learn is knowing when to rest," he lectured, shaking his head. "You can't brute-force your way past your limits. You'll only do more harm to your body than good this way."

"I don't believe you," Yahiko grunted. His hands were flat against the water. Bubbles formed beneath his right hand, but he still curled his fingers, fighting to find a handhold as he dragged himself out of the water. Trembling, he pressed his right foot against the surface.

He pushed himself to his feet, wobbling and shaking. He took a small step forward. His arms pinwheeled, but he didn't fall. He lifted his head and locked eyes with Jiraya.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm going to be a god one day. Don't underestimate me!"

And Jiraya stared, rendered speechless by the boy who would be god.

* * *

 **A/N: ランブル - Rumble,** **男の子** **\- The Boy,** **誰 - Who, 意志 - Would, される 神 - Be God**


	7. A Girl Named Oka - Part 4

"I Was Always on My Own.

I Could Not Ever Think of Letting Go, Oh No.

It Doesn't Matter if I Was Left Here to Die.

You Can Cut Me Deeper, But I'll, Be Fine.

'Cause In The End I Wouldn't Mind."

-Sarishinohara, Arvun

* * *

I leaned forward, looking over the planks Jiraya dropped on the table. The closest one had a crude flower drawn on the front in white paint.

Jiraya plopped down across from us, resting an arm on his knee. "Before we get to the good stuff, I want to teach you guys a little something that might save your lives someday." He picked up a plank with a frog drawn on it. "From now on, these will be hanging outside the hideout. Each of you has one, hand-crafted by yours truly. When you leave, flip the card to this side, that way everyone knows you're gone."

With a twist of his fingers, Jiraya showed us the red-painted back. "Flip it to this side to show that you're here." He put it down, looking at each of us. "What do you think it'll mean, if a card is flipped to the white side, but the owner is here?"

Konan frowned.

"Someone is pretending to be one of us," Yahiko answered. His right palm was wrapped in a thin bandage. He'd scalded himself water-walking and Tsunade had been so angry that she refused to heal him.

 _Who cares how fast you learn, if you destroy yourself to do it?_ she'd asked.

I shook my head. First she said we couldn't waste time. Then she was mad when Yahiko went too fast. It was confusing.

Jiraya nodded, looking around the table. "In that situation act first, without hesitation. If you don't, it could be the last mistake you make."

"Wait," Konan began tentatively. "What if we just forgot?"

"You can't forget," Jiraya said with a shake of his head. "Your lives will depend on it. I wish ending the war was as easy as having the resolve to do so. What a perfect world that would be," he sighed. "The closer you get to your goal, the more danger you'll attract. People will see you as a threat, for no reason other than because you're strong."

"The four of you have lived a life I can't even begin to imagine. But you've never had a target on your backs. You've been collateral damage, but no one has come at you with the intent to kill you for the sake of killing, someone who won't be stopped with pretty words."

"You're wrong," Yahiko said, slamming a hand on the table. "We know what it's like. If that bomb that went off had been any closer to Nagato and Oka, they would be dead." His eyes were hard. "Them not being the target wouldn't have changed anything. Dead is dead. That salamander would've eaten us the same as anyone else if we were in the way. It wouldn't have stopped fighting just because we weren't the target."

Jiraya closed his eyes. Suddenly, he looked very tired.

"What about all the people that died when the buildings fell? No one was targeting them, but they died the same as anybody!" He leaned back, crossing his arms. "We've had targets on us our whole lives. Stop talking to us like stupid kids who don't know anything."

It was quiet for a few seconds before Jiraya opened his eyes again. He looked up, past us, at the ceiling. "Some of Tsuna's luck must've rubbed off on me," he said with a stiff smile. "How did I get stuck with such a depressing bunch? You sure know how to kill a mood, kid."

"What's this one?"

All eyes went to Naga. He'd been laying down, but used the table to pull himself up. His scarred hand was held against his stomach, his eyes on a plank with four straight lines in the middle.

I got up and dropped down beside him. "Tsunade said to lay down," I told him firmly. "You're sick." I felt his arm. Not hot, but too warm.

"I have an infection," he corrected with a small smile.

I couldn't say it and he knew it. I pouted at him.

"In-fec-tion," he sounded out.

I pointed at the sweat-soaked blanket he'd been laying on. "Lay down."

His smile slipped. "Enough people are worrying about me, Oka. I don't want you to too."

"It won't heal if you're stubborn," I insisted.

Naga tilted his head. "You can say that but not infection?"

Jiraya loudly cleared his throat. "That," he said, reaching for the plank in front of Naga. "Is the symbol of this village. It's for Yahiko." He put it down in front of him.

The hard edge in Yahiko's gaze disappeared. He laced his hands behind his head. "We saw it already, remember? On the battlefield. Lots of people had headbands with it."

Naga blinked. "I remember," he began. "But that's not what I was looking at when we went down there."

"We won't have to do that anymore," Yahiko said. "Promise."

Naga's eyes flew up to meet his. After a moment, he ducked his head. "I'll hold you to that, Yahiko."

"What's this supposed to be?" Konan held up a crude drawing of deformed hands.

"Healing hands, for Nagato," Jiraya said proudly. When he met three blank stares, he sighed. "Everybody's a critic."

I traced the outline of an animal drawn on another plank. "Dog?" I asked the table, holding it up.

Yahiko squinted. "Looks more like a cat."

"Bird," Konan supplied.

Yahiko faced her. "That's not what a bird looks like."

"Yeah? How would you know?"

Yahiko stared at her, then turned away. "A bear," he confirmed.

"Rabbit," Naga said.

"Baby bird."

"What's with you and birds?" Yahiko asked Konan.

Naga poked me.

"I don't know any more animals," I said, squirming away from him.

Meanwhile, Jiraya slunk to the floor, muttering to remind himself to cross artist off his list of careers the next time he was alone. "It's a wolf," he finally said, miserably.

Yahiko pulled the plank closer to himself, but still let me hold it. "Those are dog ears," he declared.

"Are their noses supposed to be that wide?" Konan whispered.

"Not enough hair," Naga confirmed. "I saw a drawing of one a long time ago," he added when the table looked his way.

"Hateful children," Jiraya lamented. "Picking on an old man."

 **トップ**

I opened my eyes, stretching out against Naga. It was afternoon. I knew, because that was when the most light came through the clouds.

I could see a hint of a smile, but he didn't look at me. His full attention was on Tsunade, crouched in front of him. A fish sat on a stretch of white paper between them. It flopped back and forth, mouth opening and closing. It was pelted with rain, but still couldn't breathe.

Tsunade lowered a glowing hand onto the fish. It stopped struggling.

"Where's the internal carotid artery?" she asked.

Naga pointed to a place beneath its eye.

"External?"

His finger moved lower, to the bottom of the fish.

Tsunade nodded. "I want you to keep it alive with chakra. When you fail, I'll give you another fish to practice on. But for every dead fish, you have to study ichthyoid anatomy for an hour. Got it?"

Naga swallowed, but nodded. "Yes, sensei."

"You have good chakra control," she said. "Not as good as boy-wonder over there, but its enough. Combined with your budding sensory abilities and decent reserves, you could make for a formidable medic-nin one day. That idiot over there thinks you'll take two months to master this. Do it in a month and I'll see about getting you an actual textbook on mammal anatomy, and not ratty pages torn out of a notebook."

She glared in Jiraya's direction, but he pretended not to notice. He stood at the edge of the bank, watching Yahiko and Konan on the water.

"I'll try my best," Naga said. He raised his hands, and they flickered green.

Tsunade pulled away from the fish.

Naga reached forward, and I felt him shudder as he stretched his left hand. He dropped it into his lap with a wince, only grasping the fish with his right. It struggled again, flopping and fighting to free itself.

"You have to use both hands, Nagato," she said.

His fist clenched, but he didn't.

"It'll hurt like hell," she admitted. "But you have to do it anyway. That's what we do, as medic-nin. I've had to watch comrades die, knowing there's nothing I can do to save them…" she trailed off.

"It's not a physical hurt like your scars, but it hurts all the same. But no matter what kind of pain I felt inside, I kept going, fighting to protect the people I love. That pain I'm talking about? It faded over time, just like your scars will. But for right now, you have to push through it. You've got people to protect, Nagato."

He released a long breath. His left hand shook, but he raised it, cringing as forced it closer and closer to the fish. He shuddered again, just short of touching it. The solid green glow around his right hand sputtered out.

"It hurts so much," he gasped.

"You have to endure it, Nagato," Tsunade said.

Naga squeezed his eyes shut. He grasped the fish, a tear sliding down his cheek.

I wrapped my arms around him. "Don't be sad," I murmured into his shirt.

"I'm not," he croaked. He seemed to notice then that the fish wasn't moving. "I didn't get to—I'm sorry—"

Tsunade took the fish and set it off to the side. With a quick bite of her finger, and a smear of blood in the middle of the paper, another appeared in its place. "I won't count that one," she said. "But starting now, no apologies. Don't ever be sorry for being in pain,"

Surprise flitted across Naga's face, then he nodded. His hands glowed green again.

"Okay?" I asked him as Tsunade walked away.

"I'm okay," he said, stronger than before.

I glanced at the fish. The mouth opened wide, eyes rolling back and forth. I looked at Naga. He was mumbling under his breath, complicated words I didn't understand.

I stood, and with a last look at him, moved closer to the bank.

"That was a nice speech," Jiraya complimented, eyes shifting to Tsunade. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were developing a soft spot for the kid."

"Shut it," she snapped.

"About that bet," Jiraya began. "You know, if he takes longer than you think he will, you won't be here to see him finish."

Tsunade stalked off in the opposite direction.

Jiraya heaved a sigh. "Women," he said with a shake of his head.

I stepped up to the edge, able to feel the water if I curled my toes.

Jiraya had set up painted, floating targets on the water and armed Yahiko and Konan with kunai.

I watched Yahiko throw one, only for the circle he was aiming at to bob slightly to the left. His kunai nicked the edge and spun below the surface.

He groaned. He trudged forward until he was standing over the spot where the kunai fell. Then he held his breath and dropped straight down.

Konan wobbled dangerously at the waves he caused, throwing out her arms to steady herself.

"How long is two months?" I asked.

Yahiko broke the surface, kunai handle between his teeth.

"Hm?" Jiraya asked.

"I thought it was a long time, but it doesn't sound like it."

Jiraya waved this away. "Ignore that. I'm working on it. She'll change her tune soon enough."

"Okay," I took a step forward, concentrating chakra at the soles of my feet. My chakra didn't feel thick and slow like before, but warm and fluid, like liquid chocolate. The thought made me blink.

 _What did chocolate taste like?_

Yahiko wouldn't know, so I spun to face Jiraya. "What does chocolate taste like?"

He looked down at me, then off to the side. "Sweet," he said. "Depends on what type you get, though. What brought this on?"

I shrugged, turning back to face Yahiko and Konan. "I just wanted to know."

The only sweet food I ever had was the fried apple Naga brought me. Was it sweet like that? Or were there different types of sweets, like chakra?

"When can I have kunai?" I asked without turning around.

"Nagato worries enough as it is," Jiraya said lightly. "About you. About Yahiko, Konan, the future, the weather. I think he would have a heart-attack if he saw you with a kunai."

I looked over. Tsunade was making another fish appear for Naga.

"I want to help them," I told Jiraya.

He paused, then shook his head. "I want to say no, but living here, I don't think you have a choice" He pulled a kunai out of a pack on his hip and spun it around his finger. "Here. Knock yourself out."

I took it from him, holding it like a sacred treasure. I saw my wide-eyed stare on the reflective surface. It was lighter than I thought it would be.

 **の**

Jiraya raised four slips of paper, held between each of his fingers. "This paper is special," he explained. "It comes straight from the Land of Fire. Expose it to chakra and it'll tell you what your elemental affinity is."

He lowered his hand and each of us took a slip.

I rubbed my thumb over it. "Naga?" I asked. "Where's the Land of Fire?"

Jiraya's smile fell.

Naga's eyes widened and his gaze shot down to his own slip. "I don't—"

"East," Yahiko provided. "That's all I know."

Naga looked grateful.

"We're just about equal now," Yahiko began. "I can't call you an employee anymore."

"Just about?" Konan asked, eyebrow raised.

"We have to cover for each other, as co-bosses," he went on, ignoring Konan. "You know lots of stuff I don't, and I know lots of stuff you don't. One day, when I need help with medical stuff, you'll be there to cover for me."

Naga nodded. "Right."

"And stop blaming yourself for everything," Konan admonished. "You used to do it before, but it got way worse after the attack. Missing Oka's birthday, not being able to do things like you used to—none of that is your fault."

Naga ducked his head. "I know," he said quietly.

"And that!"

His head jerked up as Konan approached.

She stopped in front of him, hands on her hips. "How are you going to stand beside Yahiko as an equal if you can't look anyone in the eye?"

Naga's eyes widened.

"No one will take us seriously," she chastised. "So from now on, you're not doing that anymore," she said, poking his chest. "Got it, mister?"

"Tsuna would be proud of you," Jiraya snorted. "You sound just like her."

Red tinted Konan's cheeks, but she didn't look away from Naga.

"I got it," Naga said, head bobbing up and down.

"Do you?" she asked, poking him harder.

"I do," he said meekly, laughter in his voice.

Konan looked him up and down, then returned to her spot on Yahiko's other side.

I looked up at Naga. "Is Konan a grown-up now?"

"I don't know," he said. He sounded mystified.

Jiraya cleared his throat, and all four of us turned to look at him. He was sitting on the ground, holding a kunai, dirt covering the tip. He'd drawn groups of squiggly lines in the ground.

"Gather around," he said, beckoning us forward. "If you're going to make good on your promise to end the war, having knowledge of other countries is important. Lucky for you, you've got a spymaster for a sensei."

"Spymaster?" Konan asked.

"Long story short, I know everything about everyone," Jiraya explained with a wink.

"You didn't know about us before you came here," Yahiko pointed out.

Jiraya gave him a flat look. "I can still erase this," he warned.

I knelt at the edge of the drawing while Yahiko apologized. Each group had a symbol in the middle. I only recognized one, sandwiched between a swirly emblem, one that looked like a group of rocks, and another that looked like an hourglass. It had four lines. Amegakure.

"It's a map," Naga explained. He pointed to the swirly symbol. "That's the Land of Fire, I think."

"No, that's the Land of Fire," Jiraya said, gesturing to the character beside the symbol. "That one represents Konohagakure, where I'm from."

I leaned in, as if I could get a glimpse of Jiraya's home if I was close enough. "Is there a sun?"

Jiraya seemed taken aback for a moment. Then he sighed. "There is. It's sunny almost all the time."

I stared at Jiraya. "Really?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Yes, of course. I wouldn't lie about that."

"That's not why she asked," Yahiko said, inspecting another symbol with four lines, except they were diagonal. "Now she's fixated on visiting that place."

I would. I would visit this place with the constant sun, as soon as I could. Did they wish for rain like we wished for the sun?

"Let's do this first," Konan said, holding her slip up.

I looked down, at the slip sitting forgotten between my thumb and forefinger.

"What's stopping you—"

"At the same time," she interrupted Yahiko.

Naga stood. "Okay," he said.

Konan looked at Yahiko, then me.

I sat back and held my paper out. "Okay!"

"You're lucky I didn't do it already," he said, nudging Konan.

She stuck her tongue out at him, then held her paper close to mine. Naga's was between ours, and Yahiko's on the other side.

"On three!" she said. "One, two, three!"

Konan gasped as her paper split in half.

Yahiko yelped, shaking soggy pieces off his hand.

Naga stared at the half still in his hand, the other half fluttering to the ground.

And I watched my paper crumble, leaving behind bits of dirt on my fingertips.

 **世界**

I laid on my stomach on the surface of the lake, chin propped on my hands. Silver-green fish swam back and forth below me. They had bodies the color of moss, and scales that looked like the clouds early in the afternoon.

It was bigger than the pond we used to practice water-walking, there was grass instead of sand, and a cliff created an overhang for Jiraya to sit under.

"Today," Jiraya announced. "You're going to work on your reflexes, and your ability to anticipate the moves of your opponent. And to do that, we're going to have a little competition." He grinned. "You're going to catch fish."

Yahiko crouched at that, flipping the kunai in his hand so the point faced the water.

"To win, either catch one big fish, or three small fish. Your prize is…" he trailed off.

"A jutsu?" Yahiko asked.

"New clothes?" Konan hoped.

I looked over my shirt. The edges were frayed, with threads skimming the water. Still, I didn't want to get rid of it. There was a rip in the shoulder, where Chibi had bitten it.

It was all I had left to remember him by.

"Close," Jiraya said to Yahiko. "It's not the jutsu you want, but I'll teach you _a_ jutsu. The substitution jutsu. It's less advanced than what you've been doing, but no less important."

Yahiko didn't look happy, but nodded.

Jiraya raised an eyebrow. "What? No objections?"

"If you want us to learn it, it must be important," Yahiko said. "Yeah, I wanted to skip steps before, but now I know it would've taken way longer to get this far if I did. Tsunade-sensei was right," he admitted. "Walk first, run later."

Konan leaned close to me. "You hear that, Oka? Even Yahiko knows how important it is to take things slow."

I stuck my tongue out, but it only made her smile.

"I'm that one that's your sensei, but she's had more of an impact than me," Jiraya lamented. "I taught you plenty of life-lessons. Better ones."

"Hmm," Konan rubbed her chin. "You did teach us to throw kunai, sensei."

"Not a life-lesson, but I'll take it."

"It's a lesson we're using in life," Konan said back.

"No, see, a life-lesson is one that sticks in the head of the protagonist. It's supposed to change their entire outlook on life—"

"Teaching us to throw kunai changed how we look at life," Konan countered.

Jiraya stared at her, hands frozen mid-gesture. "It's not a physical thing you learn," he tried. "A life-lesson sticks to the soul. It's passed on from generation to generation—"

Konan held up her kunai. "And we won't pass this on?"

"How much time have you been spending with Tsunade, exactly?" Jiraya asked flatly.

"Caught a fish," Yahiko said, a small, limp fish stuck on the end of his kunai.

"What?" Konan spun. "Cheater!" she spluttered.

"He never said we had to wait for him to say go," Yahiko smiled. "Only losers play fair."

Konan's fist clenched. "Just you wait," she grumbled, focusing on the pond.

"This competition applies to you too, Oka."

I looked up. The fish were gathered in clusters below me, scared from all the noise Konan made and the splashes of kunai hitting the water. It was a silver-green kaleidoscope and one of the prettiest things I'd ever seen, second only to Mama's hair.

"I know," I said. I got up and walked off the lake. "Do lots of people have red-hair in Konoha?"

Jiraya blinked. "Only one person that I know of. Why?"

It didn't feel right, telling him about Mama. "I wish I had red hair," I told him.

Jiraya's eyes moved up to my raven locks. He didn't seem to know what to say to that. "You should still practice," he advised. "Even if you don't want to win."

"What's the substitution jutsu?" I asked.

Jiraya winced. "The others already knew, so I just assumed…" he trailed off with a shake of his head. "It lets you do this." He pressed his fingers together and disappeared in a puff of smoke. When it cleared, a frog-shaped statue sat in his place.

"Over here, Oka!"

I tilted my head back. Jiraya was perched at the top of the cliff, striking a pose. He grinned. "I'm amazing, right?"

I ran my thumb over the frog's head. It was solid, real. "Chakra did that?" I asked him.

Jiraya hopped down, landing on the grass in front of me. "I shouldn't be surprised you still don't have a firm grasp on what chakra is," he said. "Now, what kind of sensei would I be if I didn't help you fill in the gaps?" He plopped down. "Alright, sit. You and I are going to have a little chat about chakra."

I sat, pulling the frog statue into my lap. "I know what chakra is," I grumbled.

He leaned back. "Then explain it to me."

I made a face. "I can use it to water-walk," I said. "And push it around to my hands and feet."

"That's what you can do with it," he agreed. "But not what it is. What's physical energy?"

I frowned. I turned the frog statue around and didn't answer.

"Spiritual energy?"

"I have too much of it," I mumbled.

"That you do," Jiraya nodded. "But what is it?"

I squeezed the statue between my hands. "I don't need to know what it is," I said. "Only how to use it."

"Ah, and there lies the problem," Jiraya said. "That's not normal."

I blinked.

"You mastered water-walking around the same time as Konan, didn't you?" he mused. "Even though you started after her, are much younger, and don't have a great understanding of what chakra is in the first place."

"Yahiko did it before me," I said.

"It's different for him," Jiraya dismissed. "He understands chakra. In fact, he has a better grasp on it than most adults. That's why he's so advanced."

"Did I do something bad?" I asked.

"Bad? No," Jiraya laughed. "I'm just trying to figure something out, that's all."

"About me?"

"There are people in this world who take to chakra like a duck taking to water," he explained. "Those people are called prodigies, but I suspect you aren't one. The others are prodigies," he said, gesturing to Yahiko and Konan. "But none of them have the amount of spiritual chakra you do. I think something different is happening."

"Bad different?"

"Not bad or good," Jiraya said. "Just different. The way you build spiritual chakra is through knowledge and experience. By practicing water-walking until you mastered it, you increased your spiritual chakra. Nagato is increasing his spiritual chakra by studying medical techniques as we speak."

I looked back. Konan dropped a fish on the grass and ran back onto the pond. Off to the side were two other fish. Yahiko's.

"Who am I kidding?" Jiraya asked himself. "You're not understanding any of this, are you?"

"Spiritual chakra comes from practice," I parroted back at him. "And water-walking gave me some."

"You already had some," Jiraya pointed out.

"A little added to a lot," I said.

"Anything before that?"

I made another face. "I'm not in trouble," I mumbled.

Jiraya shook his head. "Just as I thought. Well, the question I was trying to get to is this: if you never knew about chakra or used it before you met me, how do you think you had so much spiritual chakra built up without training?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly right," Jiraya said. "You know what that means? You're pretty special, kid."

Was I?

I waited, as if the feeling would appear in my head, like it had been there all along. What did it feel like, to be special?

Jiraya leaned forward. "Now, this next part, keep it between us, okay?"

"I can't," I said. I wouldn't lie. Not to Konan, Yahiko, or Naga.

"Alright, alright," Jiraya relented, "Tell them, if they ask. But if they don't, stay quiet."

Was that still a lie? I hesitated before nodding.

Jiraya held his hands up. "Copy everything that I do," he said. He twisted his fingers together. "This is the Tiger seal. It's the first hand-seal for the substitution jutsu."

I stared at him. "But I didn't win."

Jiraya winked. "That's why it's a secret," he said. "Hand-seals are the basis for all jutsu. They help you mold your chakra into a different nature, whether it be elemental or yin-yang. You following?"

I thought so. I lifted my hands and mimicked him, but it was hard to keep my thumbs straight, and harder still to keep my fingers bent.

"Cheaters always lose," Konan said behind me.

I dropped my hands, guilty without knowing why.

"You sure are confident when I let you win," Yahiko said.

I turned. Konan held three small fish in Yahiko's face. Yahiko only had two.

"You didn't," she protested, lowering the fish. "I won, fair and square!"

"I wasn't going to tell you," Yahiko said solemnly. "But I had to, for your health. Gloating causes dehydration, you know."

Konan stared at him. "It does not."

"That was fast, huh?" Jiraya asked, pushing himself to his feet. "Looks like I should've given you more tasks. But you've been quite the help, catching us dinner so I don't have to."

"You made us do this so you could slack off?" Konan demanded.

"The loser," he drawled, ignoring her outrage. "Has to clean and cook what we eat for the rest of the week."

He turned his gaze to Yahiko, who closed his eyes. "Konan," he said, slowly. "I'm never letting you win anything ever again."

* * *

 **A/N: トップ - Top,** **の - Of, 世界 - The World**


	8. A Girl Named Oka - Part 5

"Hey, There's Nothing To Say,

Catastrophe By Design,

But Just For Today,"

-Harmonics, Kuraiinu

* * *

I stood on my tip-toes, reaching for my card on the wall. My fingers brushed the bottom, but I couldn't grasp it, no matter how hard I stretched.

"Almost," Naga said, patting my head. He flipped his own card to the red side. The two cards beside his were red, while the frog and slug cards on the other side were white. "Want me to lower it for you?"

"No." I hopped up, making the card rattle.

"Stubborn," Naga said with a shake of his head. He moved behind me.

"I got it," I insisted.

"I know you do," Naga said. He knelt, wrapped his arms around me, and with a grunt, lifted me so that I was at eye-level with the card.

"Naga," I complained even as I twisted the card to the red side.

"That wasn't for you," Naga said as he put me down. "I miss when you were a little baby sometimes. You loved it when I picked you up."

I took his hand. "I forgive you, but only this time," I said.

Naga smiled and pushed the door open.

"Passcode!" Yahiko called. He was laying on his back, holding one of Naga's textbooks above him.

Naga waited until he closed the door before he answered, "We don't have one."

"We should make a real passcode," Konan said. Half-finished origami littered the ground in front of her.

"That is a real passcode," Yahiko said. "No one will expect it."

"Where'd sensei go?" Naga asked.

"Tsunade-sensei went to look for a bar," Konan answered, tapping her chin. "Jiraya-sensei said he was going to do some 'research' for the book he's writing."

"How can you read this?" Yahiko asked.

"You're holding it upside down," Naga told him.

"It's the same either way," Yahiko said. "No matter which way I look at it, none of it makes sense."

I broke away from Naga and sat across from Konan, her paper creations between us.

"Any luck?" she asked.

"I'm not a sensor," I shrugged. "But Naga's getting better. He can tell people apart now, just by their chakra."

"Really? That's great," she said. "I've been practicing too. Wanna see?"

I nodded.

Konan took a deep breath and pressed her fingers into the bird seal. A moment later, one of the paper roses unfolded into individual slips and began to float. Her brows furrowed and the paper slips lifted higher into the air.

I leaned close, just as she exhaled, and paper rained down around us.

"I don't know what to call it yet," she confessed. Sweat beaded on her forehead.

I poked a piece on my knee, but it didn't move. "Where does the chakra go when you stop manipulating it?"

Konan blinked. "I don't really know, Oka. When Jiraya-sensei comes back you should ask him."

"No, that's okay," I said, standing. "It's harder to understand when he explains things."

Konan giggled. "He'd be so mad if he heard you say that."

"Don't work too hard," I instructed, hands on my hips. "Take a break."

Konan covered her mouth to smother her laugh. "You're mimicking Tsunade-sensei now, too?"

"I won't heal you if you go too far," I lowered my voice, turning my nose up at her.

I smiled as she dissolved into laughter.

"That's inside me?" Yahiko asked, finger stabbing a page of Naga's textbook. He was on his stomach, the book beneath him.

I peeked over his shoulder. On the right page was a drawing of something that was in the shape of a bloated crescent, with arrows pointing to different parts of it.

"I think so," Naga said, sitting in front of him.

Yahiko looked up.

"Some people are born without one," he quietly added.

"How can people be born _without_ an organ?" Yahiko spluttered.

I knelt beside him, running a finger over the large, bold words at the top. "What does that say?"

"Spleen," Naga read. "It's here." He poked below my chest.

I squirmed away from him. "You could've shown me on Yahiko," I said.

Naga smiled and waggled his fingers at me.

"What does it do?" Yahiko asked.

Naga pointed to a paragraph on the left page.

Yahiko followed his finger. Three seconds passed before he nodded. "It's gibberish," he confirmed.

In response, Naga turned to a page at end of the book. "All the big words and what they mean are listed here," he said.

Yahiko stared at it, then at Naga. "What language is that?" he asked.

Naga shook his head but turned the book to face himself. "I'll read it to you," he obliged. "It'll be good practice for Oka, too."

 **我々**

Jiraya ducked into the bar, holding the curtain aside as he took a quick look around. It was possibly the last remaining bar in Amegakure. The others he knew of had been destroyed, looted, or abandoned.

Though, it wasn't in the best shape. Water dripped from a hole in the roof, marks covered the floor where chairs used to be, and several parts of the wall looked like it had been hastily patched with wood of a different color.

He stepped up to the bar. Save for the bartender, the place was empty.

"Yo," he greeted, and the bartender looked up from the cup he'd been wiping. His bland, empty stare immediately sent a shiver down his spine.

"I'm looking for a woman," he pushed on anyway. "Big, voluptuous breasts. And I mean _big._ Between you and me, I don't know how she carries around those things around—"

He heard a long, drawn out sigh behind him. "What do you want?"

Jiraya turned, and there was Tsunade. She'd come in from outside. He knew, because she was soaking wet. Damn this village and its rain. Looking past her, he saw what he hadn't before. A slight seam in the wall, hidden by the multicolored wood and poor lightning.

"Looking as good as ever, Tsuna," he greeted.

She held two letters in each hand. One for Dan, the other for Nawaki. "Cut the crap," she said. "Why follow me here?"

The bartender quietly disappeared into the back room.

"Follow you?" he asked. "Can't a man enjoy a drink and some, hopefully, well-endowed entertainment?"

Tsunade shook her head and turned away. She had a hand on the secret door when he spoke again.

"I'm glad you decided to stay," he admitted. "It would've been awfully lonely here without you."

She dropped her hand. "Dan didn't like it, you know," she said. "He worries. I would too, if our positions were reversed. I'm deep in enemy territory. I can't imagine what he'd think, if he knew we were only still alive because Hanzo thought we deserved to be."

Jiraya leaned against the bar. "At least we got cool titles out of it," he said.

Tsunade looked back at him over her shoulder, and he could see her smile. "I'm trying to have a serious moment here, idiot."

"Serious? Around me?" he asked. "I'm not Orochi, you know."

Tsunade shook her head. "That you aren't," she said dryly.

Jiraya shrugged. "If Dan knows you like I do, he'll understand."

"It's not about that," she said. "I wonder what's keeping me here sometimes. I wanted to be home before Nawaki's birthday, since the war kept me away last year. I chose to stay here instead. So many people are waiting for me back home and yet I didn't leave when I had the chance. Why am I betting it all on a group of orphans from a random war-torn village?"

"Because you think they can do it," Jiraya answered.

"They're kids," Tsunade protested.

"They're not. They haven't been kids for a very long time, and I think you know that."

Tsunade closed her eyes. "That orange-haired brat reminds me so much of Nawaki."

"Konan is—"

Tsunade shot him a warning look.

Jiraya reconsidered. "She's developing her own jutsu, you know."

Tsunade faced the wall, but not before he caught the glint of pride in her eyes. "Is she?"

She could try to hide it all she wanted, but Jiraya knew she'd grown fond of her so-called brats.

"I never thought I would get an apprentice this soon," she said quietly.

"You can't bear to see them die before they get the chance to shoot for their dream," Jiraya mused. "The only way to give them that chance is to teach them to survive. And no one around here will do it, so it falls to us. I feel the same way, princess."

He watched her shoulders rise, her fists clench. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her face, but he knew she was embarrassed by the use of her old nickname.

"And Oka—" he started.

"She's a prodigy," Tsunade agreed.

Except, that wasn't what he was going to say. She didn't see it then, that Oka wasn't a real prodigy. Jiraya's thoughts about Oka were nothing more than half-baked theories, but there were two things he was certain about.

Her spiritual knowledge put her ahead of even Yahiko, but she was held back by her physical limitations.

At the rate she was progressing, her chakra reserves would surpass his own one day. It must've run in the family, because he expected the same of Nagato.

And one thing he was less certain about.

She might be what he was searching for. The child the old toad talked about in his prophecy.

"Yeah," Jiraya grunted, pushing away from the counter. "A prodigy."

 **できる**

"Ready?" Jiraya asked.

I nodded. In a blink, he flashed through two hand-seals. I missed the first, but the second was the rat seal.

"Demonic Illusion: Death Mirage Jutsu."

Jiraya disappeared.

 _"I only want to see if you can break out of it," he'd explained. "So, I'll make it obvious you're in one. But if this were a real battle, chances are you wouldn't even notice you were in a genjutsu until it was too late. We'll work on identifying the complex stuff later. For now, just show me you can do it."_

I threw my hands up, focused my chakra, and opened my mouth—

"Oka," Naga croaked before I could speak. "Oka, I'm so scared."

He sounded hurt and broken and terrified. Like Papa, when he told Naga to run. I stumbled, like the thought was a physical blow.

"Please," he begged.

I turned around.

Naga laid on the grass behind me. His eyes were closed, and bloody lines ran from each eyelid down to his chin. The handle of a gunbai was impaled through his back, pinning him to the ground. He raised a shaking, bloody hand.

"Please," he gasped.

I dropped down beside him. "You're not real," I murmured, even as I took his hand.

He stared at me. "What? Why-Why would you say that?"

"Because Jiraya-sensei said you weren't," I pressed his palm against my cheek.

Naga sagged and red dribbled out from under him. "I'm dying," he wheezed. "Take it out, Oka. Please."

I looked at the gunbai but shook my head. I put his hand down. "I have to go," I told him.

"Wait," he gasped, grabbing my sleeve. "Oka, please, please don't. You came over here just to leave me?"

"No," I said. "I did it because I love you too much, Naga."

"Love," he repeated, cheek against the grass. His hand fell away. "How stupid."

He reached up, pinched his own chin between his fingers, and peeled the skin back.

I took a step back. "Naga?"

The more he peeled, the more he revealed a bright orange mask. He tossed his face aside, and a red glow emanated from a single eye-hole. "You stupid, stupid girl," he said.

I took another step back. I didn't know him, did I? Why then, were my hands shaking?

He rose, phasing through the gunbai like a ghost.

I shuddered and felt the sudden, urgent need to get away from him. I whirled, slipping a little on the blood— _Naga's blood_ —and I ran.

"Ah, ah," he admonished. He sounded too close. "Too late."

I felt a pull, the sensation of being lifted off my feet, and then I was sucked into the dark.

I bolted upright, shaking so hard my teeth chattered.

"Oka, Oka," it was Naga, saying my name over and over.

I was cradled like a baby in his lap. I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him like he would disappear if I let go.

Naga sagged in relief.

"What happened?" Yahiko asked.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered, only loud enough for Naga to hear.

"I know," he said, fighting the tremor in his voice. "Don't think about it anymore."

"She had a bad reaction to the genjutsu I used," Jiraya explained somewhere behind me. "I thought you were ready, Oka, and you weren't. That's my fault."

"Oh, poor Oka," Konan murmured.

"I'm sleepy, Naga," I mumbled.

"Close your eyes," he said softly. "I'll protect you from the nightmares."

"Promise you'll be there when I wake up?"

"Always," he said firmly.

 **調和**

Konan stood above me, adjusting a paper flower crown on my head.

"There we go!" she said, leaning back. "A worthy crown for the birthday girl."

I glanced up. "Konan?"

"Hm?"

"Why don't you have a birthday?"

Konan faltered. "I do," she said, forcing a happy note into her voice. "I just don't know when it is," she admitted. "I don't think Yahiko and Nagato do either. But since we know yours, that's what we're celebrating. Have a good birthday for all of us, okay?"

"Okay, but next time, it's your birthday," I declared.

"It is?" Konan asked, scratching her cheek.

"Then Naga, then Yahiko."

"Hmm," Konan said. "If we're all going to have birthdays then Yahiko should be first, since he's the oldest."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been with him the longest, silly," Konan said, poking my cheek.

I swatted her, baring my teeth.

Konan smiled, but moved her fingers away from my mouth. "He's older than me. I know that," she said. "Nagato might be older than me, but I don't think so. So, his birthday would come last."

"And then mine after that?" I asked.

"No," Konan said. "We're not changing your birthday. We can't. It's a specific date."

"So, I'm the oldest?" I asked.

"Not if Yahiko picks his birthday before yours," Konan stuck her tongue out.

I stuck mine out back at her.

"Don't tease the birthday girl, Konan," Yahiko said. "It's rude."

"You're one to talk," Konan shot back.

Yahiko nodded, taking this in stride. "You've been very sassy lately," he noted. "I think it's time I talk to Nagato about staging an intervention."

Konan flushed. "I've always been like this."

"More than usual," Yahiko corrected.

"Why are you interrupting us?"

Yahiko squinted at her. Then, ignoring the question entirely, he pulled out a folded piece of paper and knelt in front of me. "For the princess," he said, bowing his head as he held it out.

"Princess?" I asked, looking to Konan.

"Just take the gift," Yahiko whispered.

I did, holding it up as I unfolded it. My eyes widened. It was a drawing of the sky, using colors I'd never seen before. The sun was bright yellow in the middle and the biggest. The clouds were milky white, the sky around them baby blue.

"This is what the sky looks like?" I asked him in awe.

"In places where there's no rain, yeah."

"Woah," Konan said. "What did you have trade for this?"

"Four big fish from the lake," Yahiko said, lacing his hands behind his head. "No one wants to leave their homes to fish. I just did it for them."

I hugged him tight. "Thank you."

"As long I get the title of best gift giver, I'm happy."

"This is the best gift I've gotten ever," I told him.

Yahiko beamed.

"What about my flower crown?" Konan asked.

"Now, now," Yahiko chided. "She already decided. Don't be a sore loser."

Konan crouched beside me. "A crown made of flowers is way better than some dingy painting, right?"

 _Pain-ting._ Another word I'd never heard before.

"It's of the _sky_ ," I emphasized, clinging to Yahiko.

"You heard her," Yahiko said, raising his arms helplessly. "Sky beats flower crown."

I pulled back, lifting the painting above my head. It was so, so close to the real thing. I paused. "What do I do with it?"

Yahiko blinked down at me.

"I can't take it outside," I thought aloud. "And I don't wanna leave it on the floor."

"Ah, I see," Yahiko said. "We can hang it up, if you want."

"Hang it up?" I repeated.

"Yeah, I'll show you."

I followed Yahiko across the room. He stopped in front of the back wall. "We can put it right here." He tapped the wall with his knuckle.

"Okay," I nodded.

"I'm on it," Yahiko said. He held his hand out and I surrendered the painting. "Give me five minutes."

"Okay," I said, watching him move around the hideout. He was looking for something, but I didn't know what.

While he did that, I wandered down the small hallway behind the kitchen. There was only one door in the middle, leading to the bathroom. I rapped my knuckles against it.

"Naga?" I asked. He'd been in there for a long time.

I heard something crash inside, and then Naga threw the door open. Something was on the floor behind him, but he moved in the way when I tried to look around him. He hadn't patted down his hair, so it stuck up everywhere.

"Oka," he said, alarmed. "You can't look. It's not done yet."

"O-kay," I said, but didn't move.

Naga sighed. He placed his hands on my shoulders, turned me around, and gave me a light push in the opposite direction. He closed the door before I could turn back around.

"You know," Yahiko began as I walked back to the living area. "He's lucky Konan hasn't had to use the bathroom."

"Why me?"

"I could just go outside," Yahiko pointed out, and Konan turned bright red.

The painting was on the wall, held in place by a slip of paper over each corner.

"It's so pretty," I said.

"You're welcome," Yahiko said.

I sat, leaning back so I could admire it. I was still looking at it when the door opened.

"Passcode?" Yahiko asked.

"Brat, do we really have to—"

"Passcode," Yahiko interrupted her, voice harder.

"Don't have one," Jiraya answered for them both. "Sorry we're late, but you wouldn't believe the pretty ladies they have standing guard at the border today. If I were a weaker man, I might've let them see us, just so I could get a good look at those huge—"

"This," Tsunade interrupted loudly, shooting him a glare. "Is for you." She dropped a wrapped package on the table.

I crawled closer, turning it over in my hands.

"Well?" Tsunade asked, crossing her arms.

Yahiko leaned down. "That's not it. You're supposed to open it, Oka," he whispered.

I pulled at the bag until it tore and, with an encouraging nod from Yahiko, tore the rest off until a pair of black sandals fell into my lap. Smooth black fabric was attached to each of them.

"Sandals?" Konan asked, kneeling beside me.

"Shinobi sandals," Tsunade corrected. "Made specifically for the little brat."

Yahiko gazed down, looking longingly at his own dirty feet.

"Can I get shinobi sandals for my birthday too, Tsunade-sensei?" Konan asked.

"Which is when, exactly?"

Konan went quiet.

I sat and tugged them on my feet. The sandals fit, but the fabric hung off the back, and I stared, not knowing what do with it.

Tsunade sighed and knelt in front of me. "Stay still," she ordered and pulled them off. She grabbed my leg with one hand, shoving the fabric up around my ankle with the other. She adjusted the sandal, then let go. "That's how you put them on."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sensei," I said.

"No problem."

Jiraya unveiled a scroll from his coat pocket as she stood and twirled it in his hand. "You've been asking, no _begging,_ for something chocolatey, so Jiraya the Sanin has finally granted your precious wish." He pressed his thumb in the middle, and a round object popped out.

"This," he began, putting the brown thing down in front of me. "Is a chocolate cupcake."

Konan shifted closer, looking at it with wide eyes.

"Huh. If I knew you wanted one so much, I would've gotten it for you instead," Yahiko said.

"I don't," I said, leaning in to sniff the cupcake.

It smelled like cinnamon.

Yahiko paused, turning on his heel to look at Jiraya.

"Idiot," Tsunade said with a shake of her head.

"She did ask for chocolate before," Jiraya protested.

"You've got to tell me what it tastes like, Oka," Konan begged.

"Here," I pushed it towards her with my fingertips.

Konan backed off, shaking her head. "No, no. It's your present. You should have the first bite."

I picked it up and cradled it in my hands. It was hard, but squishy. Not liquid chocolate, like I'd asked about, but another form of it. I leaned forward.

Yahiko grabbed my wrist before I could take a bite. Without a word, he peeled off the wrapping and bunched it up in his fist. "It may not look like it, but it's paper, Oka. You can't eat that."

I turned the cupcake in my hands, ensuring it was free of paper before I took a bite. It was softer on the inside, almost gooey. A different kind of sweet, but bitter at the same time. I made a face and leaned close to Konan, lowering my voice. "I don't like it," I admitted.

Konan's eyes widened. She scooted closer. "You sure? They're supposed to be really good."

I tried to push the cupcake into her hands, but she resisted. "We have to be more discreet," she said quietly, bending her head close to mine. "You're not supposed to give away a gift like that. It's rude."

"But I don't want it."

"Shhhh," she said, casting a look over her shoulder.

Casually, Konan laid her hand flat on the table, palm-up. "Start by giving me a small piece," she instructed. "So they don't notice."

"Why?"

"It's good manners, Oka," she said.

I didn't understand, but I scratched a piece off the top. Then I deposited the contents that were under my fingernail into her palm.

Konan's face twisted in disgust.

On my other side, Yahiko plucked the cupcake from my grasp. He broke it in half, swept the crumbs out of Konan's palm, and placed half there. "You know what's bad manners?" he asked, taking a bite. "Pretending to like something when you don't."

"I wasn't making her pretend," Konan protested. "I just didn't want to be rude!"

Yahiko looked her up and down. "Ah. I understand."

"What?"

"You're going through puberty," Yahiko revealed. "That's why you're so worried about manners all of a sudden."

I heard Jiraya choke. When I looked back, he was coughing hard into his palm.

"I bet you don't even know what puberty is," Konan sputtered.

"I do," Yahiko said airily. "The knowledge of it comes with a certain level of maturity, you see. You're not there yet."

"I'm mature,"

"It all makes sense now," Yahiko said to himself.

"Yahiko!"

"Hey, Yahiko?" I asked. "What's puberty?"

Konan made a distressed noise, her mouth full of cupcake. Yahiko looked at me, then he put the cupcake down. He turned fully to face me. "Are you sure you want to know, Oka? It's forbidden, dangerous knowledge."

"I'm not little anymore," I argued. "If you know, I want to know too."

Yahiko nodded. "In that case, we should start with—"

Hands covered my ears. I looked up at Konan, who glared at Yahiko. She said something and he tumbled over, laughing hard.

I pushed her hands aside.

"Who told you _that_?" Yahiko gasped.

I looked to Konan for an answer, but she looked away, her face a fierce red. "You don't want to know, Oka. Trust me."

I frowned. "I'm old enough," I insisted.

Konan shook her head and tried to smile. "You're not. Just wait a little while longer, okay?"

Yahiko was still laughing.

I didn't want to be left out, but Konan wouldn't meet my eyes. I frowned. "I'm going to check on Naga," I said, but didn't wait for an answer. If the others wouldn't tell me, I would ask him.

It took him almost a minute to answer. The question on the tip of my tongue dissolved at the unhappy look on his face.

"What's wrong, Naga?" I asked.

"I don't think I'll make it," he said. "I'm really, really trying, but stitching is harder than I thought it would be."

"That's okay," I said. "Give it to me tomorrow."

He looked surprised. He shook his head and plopped down. "Remember what Konan told me to stop doing?" he asked.

I knelt in front of him. "Yeah. She was kind of scary."

"Scary good or scary bad?"

I thought about it, then shrugged. "Just scary. Like Tsunade-sensei."

Naga smiled. "I know what you mean. You can look if you want."

I shook my head. "Not if you don't want me to."

"I want you to," he said. When I hesitated, he leaned forward. "I really, _really_ want you to."

I peeked around him. There was an explosion of red thread and needles on the floor. Most were tangled together, with lines spanning all over the bathroom. There was a semi-clear spot in the middle, where part of a scarf was.

"You thought I wouldn't like it?" I asked.

Naga shook his head. "What I thought was really stupid and not true, but I never thought you wouldn't like it."

I leaned against him. "Good, because I already love it."

* * *

 **A/N:** **我々** **\- We,** **できる** **\- Can, 調和 - Harmonize**


	9. A Girl Named Oka - Part 6

"A secret place for me and you,

Where everyday was fun and new.

A simple time played in our heads,

We'll tell this story again."

\- Summertime Record, JubyPhonic

* * *

"Sorry, Oka," Naga panted. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "'Is okay," I murmured.

Tsunade was inspecting the animal at Naga's feet.

She'd called it a binturong.

Tsunade had just found it when I fell asleep. One of its back legs was broken, she'd said, and it was up to Naga to fix it.

"Not bad," she praised, turning the foot back and forth. "Not bad at all."

Naga closed his eyes. He was flat on his back, arms and legs spread out.

I crawled closer to Tsunade and sat beside the binturong. I watched the slow rise and fall of its chest, the twitch of its long tail. It was a new thing, like the fish in the lake. How many animals were hidden around Amegakure that I didn't know about?

Tsunade pulled back its eyelid and I saw that it had red-brown eyes. "You didn't use enough chakra, and you weren't precise enough," she lectured, moving her hand down to its knee. "You mended the break, but it will heal badly if left alone. The patella and fibula still have fracture lines."

Naga's face scrunched up.

She touched the front of its leg. "The tibia is a little better. The bone is healed, but not the muscle or skeletal tissue. Nor did you reattach it properly to the patella or tarsus." Her finger moved down to its ankle.

"But, for your first time, this is good work. You can fix this, and that's the most important part. What would have happened if you used too much chakra?"

"Fused the bones together," Naga murmured. "Or to the skin or muscle."

Tsunade nodded. "If that happened, it would be permanent. Trying to fix that would only cause more damage. Better to leave it as is and accept the consequences."

"It won't. I won't hurt anyone like that. Not ever," he said.

"Of course you won't," Tsunade scoffed. "I would be the first in line to kill you if you did."

I could see a small smile on his face. "Thank you, Tsunade-sensei," he said. "For everything."

"Don't mention it," she said. Though her voice was gruff, her eyes were soft. "But you can't rest yet. There's one more thing I want you do today."

Naga pushed himself up on his elbows. "I can try," he said. "But I'm running low on chakra."

"Not that," Tsunade said with a dismissive wave. "I'll take care of the overgrown rat. But you did waste a frankly impressive amount of chakra each time you used Mystical Palm. You pushed so much of it into the jutsu, but actually used very little."

Naga frowned.

"You lack control. First thing tomorrow, I'm adding more chakra control exercises to your regimen."

His brow furrowed. "I thought I had good control."

"You did," Tsunade said. "In a way, you were lucky. You started training in medical-ninjutsu when your chakra reserves were small and easy to control. But your reserves grow as you do. Only when your body stops growing will your reserves stop too. Until then, you'll have to work harder to maintain the control you once had."

"When you finished with the binturong you thought you healed both the bone and the fractures, didn't you?" she asked.

Naga's frown deepened but he nodded.

"That should've told you how much your control degraded since we first started. You lost any preciseness you might've had before."

"I understand, sensei."

"Yahiko doesn't do exercises anymore. Why does Naga get extra?" I asked.

Tsunade flicked me, hard enough to sting. "Boy-wonder doesn't have half the chakra you two do," she scoffed and I winced, rubbing the spot with my thumb. "He has small reserves, so he has an easier time controlling them. The same way you have larger reserves, so you have more stamina."

"Stamina?"

"We can use more jutsu without getting tired," Naga explained.

"So," I thought. "Yahiko gets tired faster?"

"Not the way you are now. In fact, I doubt boy-wonder would have a problem outlasting you both and having chakra to spare after," Tsunade said dryly. "I'm not about to go in depth about why, so here's the short answer to your next question: It's not about how much chakra you have, but how you use it. He knows that his reserves are a little less than average, so he uses as little chakra as possible in jutsu. There's never a drop wasted."

I looked over. Jiraya was standing on the bank, watching Konan and Yahiko run across the pond. He wanted us to increase our endurance by doing laps, but I got tired, so it was just Konan and Yahiko.

"This is the last thing I wanted you to do today," Tsunade said again.

A scroll was unrolled in front of her. It was unlike any scroll I'd ever seen. Instead of a pattern of characters with a place to summon in the middle, it had two words in red ink, printed side-by-side.

"This is a summoning contract," Tsunade explained. "I want you to sign it, Nagato. As long as you have chakra, you'll be able to summon slugs from Shikkotsu Forest. They'll act as your allies in battle or assist you in healing your comrades."

Naga stared at her, then at the contract.

"I know if you sign it, it'll be put to good use. So, do it already you big brat."

Naga ducked his head, rubbing his eyes with his arm. "Right," he sniffed. "How do I do it?"

Tsunade tapped the empty space next to the other words. "You need to sign your name here, in blood." She tapped the space below the names. "And add your finger print."

Naga froze. "My name?" he asked quietly.

"Just your first name is enough," Tsunade said.

Naga nodded. He bit down hard on his pointer finger, wincing as he broke the skin.

"Mimic the way the other names are written," Tsunade instructed.

Naga nodded and I leaned in, watching him slowly, carefully trace his name into the empty space. He spread the blood to his other fingers and added his handprint below it.

"What's that name?" I pointed to the first one.

"Mito Uzumaki," Tsunade said. "My grandmother."

I traced my finger over the second name. I couldn't read it that well, but I knew it was Tsunade.

"Now what do I do?" Naga asked.

Tsunade held up a hand. "You have to press all your fingers to the ground where you want to summon the slug and apply chakra. You also need blood, but you already have that."

"That's it?" Naga asked.

Tsunade smiled. She dropped her fist on top of his head, ruffling his hair with her knuckles. "That's it. You don't have much chakra left, so don't overdo it. Use as little as you can," she advised.

I could see Naga's smile. I shifted closer to watch.

He placed his hand flat on the ground and took a deep breath. A puff of smoke obscured his arm. When it cleared, a white slug was sitting in front of his hand. It had three blue stripes going down its back.

"Ooh," I said.

"You summoned Katsuyu," Tsunade observed, giving Naga a flat stare.

"Oh," Naga said, then fainted.

"Milady," the slug— _Katsuyu_ —greeted. Its tentacles turned towards Naga.

I looked to Tsunade, but she didn't seem worried.

"Is this the new summoner you've chosen?" she asked in a soft, polite voice. "I didn't expect you to find a new one so soon, milady."

"Well, I wasn't expecting him to summon you, Katsuyu," Tsunade said. "I thought it would be one of the younger ones, like Namekuji."

Katsuyu climbed on top of Naga and sat on his back. "It was quite an unusual amount of chakra that he used," she mused. "If I knew he was so young, perhaps I wouldn't have answered. It's always the young ones that have the worst control."

"You don't have to heal him," Tsunade said. "He just needs rest."

"You care for him a great deal, and so will I, milady." Katsuyu turned her tentacles. "And who's this?"

"His sister, Oka," Tsunade introduced. "You'll see her often. Along with those two." She gestured vaguely at Konan and Yahiko.

Katsuyu followed her hand. "For his sake, I hope I won't," she said. "I won't be of much use to him, I'm afraid, unless you plan to teach him Strength of a Hundred seal as well, milady?"

"Hello," I said. "I've never met a slug before."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said. "Perhaps one day, you'll be our summoner as well."

My eyes widened. "I hope so."

"He's nowhere near ready for that," Tsunade admitted. "Unless it seems like an emergency, just don't answer his call, Katsuyu."

"Very well. I'll see who I can find that will be well-suited to him, milady."

"Thank you, Katsuyu."

"He should wake up soon. Until we meet again, Nagato."

 **縄**

For the first time since Jiraya and Tsunade agreed to train us, I slept in. When I woke, there was enough light coming through the window that we didn't need to use a lantern to see, which meant it was early in the afternoon.

"We should look for them," Konan said as I stretched my arms above my head. She was pacing back and forth in front of the table.

Yahiko sat opposite of her, nibbling on the tail of a fish. He didn't say anything at all.

I padded to the small window behind Konan, peering out at the rain. I couldn't see the cards from there, but I could imagine them, the frog and the slug flipped to the white side.

"I'm worried too," Naga said. "I haven't seen Tsunade-sensei since early yesterday."

"Jiraya-sensei was here last night," Konan admitted. "But he wasn't this morning."

I went to the table and plopped down beside Yahiko. "Tsunade-sensei leaves for days all the time," I said, taking a small fish from a plate in the middle. It was cold, but I didn't mind.

"Yeah, but," Konan frowned. "Jiraya-sensei always trains us in the morning. _Always._ "

"Man, you slept for so long I thought we would have to splash water on you to get you up," Yahiko said with a grin.

"I didn't sleep that long," I protested.

"We should look for them," Naga agreed.

"What if something happened and they left a note at one of our usual places?" Konan asked.

"I could ask Namekuji if he knows anything," Naga said.

I looked to Yahiko, but he was staring at the bones of his fish. He wasn't smiling anymore.

"Yahiko?" Konan asked. "What should we do?"

Yahiko glanced up.

"Were you even listening?"

He tossed the fish down. "Their stuff is gone," he finally said.

Konan stopped pacing. "What?"

I looked around and noticed it too. Jiraya's chest plate and arm guards, which were usually propped in the corner, were gone. He said it was easier to blend in without them.

"Tsunade-sensei kept a lot of stuff in the bathroom," Yahiko added. "All of it is gone."

Naga darted into the hallway and shoved open the door. I could hear him rummaging around and slamming things.

"They wouldn't just leave, would they?" Konan asked.

I waited for Yahiko to answer, but he didn't.

When Naga came out of the bathroom, his face fell. I pushed away from the table and went to him, hugging him as hard as I could.

"They didn't leave," I murmured. "They wouldn't."

It wasn't time for them to go yet. Yahiko still wasn't a god. But, if they had to leave…

Wouldn't they have at least said goodbye?

Yahiko stood. "Let's look for them anyway. In case they left a message."

 **樹**

We found Jiraya standing on the bank beside our pond, staring up at the sky.

"So, you found me after all, eh?" he drawled.

"Jiraya-sensei," Konan said in relief. She turned to Yahiko. "See? You were wrong. He's still here, and I bet Tsunade-sensei is too."

Yahiko only looked at Jiraya and crossed his arms.

Jiraya turned around. A blue headband was tied around his forehead, and I recognized the swirly symbol representing his home, Konohagakure.

 _The place with the endless sun._

And then he sighed. "I've got some bad news."

"Where's Tsunade-sensei?" Naga asked suddenly.

I took his hand.

"Yeah," Jiraya began. "About that." He paused, rubbing the back of his head. "Tsunade left for Konoha late last night. She received an urgent message from the Hokage a few days ago, but only got around to opening it yesterday. Her little brother was killed in the war. If I wasn't there when she read it she wouldn't have told me either."

Naga squeezed my hand hard enough to hurt.

Because of war.

It was all because of war.

How much did the war need to take before it was full and sick of death?

Mama. Papa. Chibi. Tsunade's brother.

"What's his name?" I asked.

Jiraya closed his eyes. "Nawaki. His name was Nawaki."

Konan sat heavily on the sand. She dropped her head in her hands. "Is it too much to hope you're staying, Jiraya-sensei?"

"I hate to disappoint a lovely lady, but I received a missive too. I'm needed back home, and it's an order I can't refuse."

Yahiko was right.

"You can't," I said, because we needed them. We weren't strong enough to stop the war. Yahiko had only just started learning a water jutsu. I took a step forward. "You can't," I said again.

"With or without me, Yahiko will become a god of peace. I just know it," Jiraya said. He picked up a bag at his feet and slung it over his shoulder. "And you will all help him do it. Even you, little princess."

Naga turned his face away, gritting his teeth.

Jiraya's smile was sad. "I'll tell you a secret," he said. "I want to stay. I was finally starting to feel like I found my destiny here, but duty calls."

He turned around and lifted a hand. "Don't be sad. Be happy, because I'll see you again once you've achieved your dream. See you later."

I took another step forward, but Yahiko grabbed my hand. He shook his head.

"Oh, and I left a little something back at the house. Think of it as my goodbye gift," Jiraya said. I watched him walk away, and it hurt. It hurt so much. I clutched the front of my shirt and squeezed.

Naga's fists were clenched. He was breathing hard. Konan wrapped her arms around her legs.

Jiraya's silhouette disappeared.

"Why does everyone always go away?" I asked.

"Not everyone," Yahiko said. "You'll always have the three of us, little princess."

I frowned. "I'm not a princess."

"Of course you're not _a_ princess," Yahiko said. "You're _our_ princess."

He smiled like everything was okay, and I felt a tiny bit better. He turned. "Come on. Let's head back. We've still got a lot of work to do."

Konan raised her head. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were red. "But Yahiko—"

"You still believe in me, right?" he interrupted her. "Remember? We're going to end the fighting and make it so no one will be threatened by war ever again." He held out his hand.

Konan stared. "I remember," she said softly. She shook her head, slapping her palms against her cheeks. "Right! No one will have to be afraid anymore, when we're done." She grasped his hand.

Yahiko's grin was radiant. He held his other hand out to Naga.

Naga turned further away. He was trying not to cry.

I looked across the pond. _He deserves better_ , I thought. There was something there, deep inside me. Something dark and nasty that grew bigger the more I thought about how much Naga's heart hurt. At least Jiraya said goodbye.

"A long time ago, I told you that we would make the world better together," Yahiko said. "But I can't do that if you're always crying. I need you with me. It'd all fall apart if I had to do it all alone."

"You wouldn't," Naga sniffed, shoulders hunching. "Konan would never let you be alone."

 _He deserves so much better than this._

"Maybe," Yahiko admitted. "But I would feel a lot more alone if I lost one of my best friends."

Naga's head jerked his way. He stared, but Yahiko only smiled. After a moment Naga nodded and wiped his face. "You always know what to say," he murmured, taking the offered hand.

"You didn't know you were my best friend?"

"I knew," Naga said quietly. "But I felt so bad I forgot. I just needed you to remind me."

Yahiko slung an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. "I wanted them to stay longer, too," he admitted. "But I'm glad they stuck around as long as they did. It'll be hard on our own, but we'll do it like we always have." He shook his head. "I don't know if I can forgive them for hurting you two so much though."

Naga discreetly wiped his eyes again.

Yahiko looked apologetic as he looked over at me. "I wish I had another hand, Oka."

I smiled, shaking my head. "You made Naga happy again, so I'm happy."

Konan let go of Yahiko and moved to stand beside Naga. She took his hand. "Now your hand is free. I need to have another talk with Nagato anyway," she said sweetly. "Remind him of something."

Naga paled. I took Yahiko's hand.

"We won't go to Konoha," Yahiko said. "But I'll find you an even brighter sun, Oka. I promise."

I nodded. If he said it, then it would happen.

Yahiko tilted his head back. "We're going to change the world!" he shouted.

Konan cheered, and Naga nodded, smiling. "We will."

* * *

 **A/N: 縄 - Rope , 樹 - Tree**

 **Every day, the Ame Orphans break my heart a little more.**


End file.
